“One of the methods would be to ensure that that the ballot cast for a certain candidate is invalidated.” he said. “A technician could use a ballpen with leaking ink; a drop of the ink in the ballot is enough for the machine to invalidate it, and the technician could always say it was accidental,” he explained.

“The large quantities would be for the politician to pay both the Board of Election Inspector which is the teacher and the technician who will insert all the pre-shaded ballots, which is very hard to do because of the presence of political party watchers,” he said.

More here.

It’s more than a month away from now but TV host Kris Aquino is already all agog in planning her son Baby James’ birthday party. Baby James was born April 19 and Kris is out to fulfill his dreams of a Michael Jackson party.

“Tinanong ko siya kung ano ang gusto niyang party, kung Time Zone or Michael Jackson. Michael Jackson party daw. So, meron mga tatlong dance groups na napanood sa ‘Pilipinas Got Talent’ na sasayaw na lang para sa kanya, para super happy na siya,” Kris shared in a taped interview in Showbiz News Ngayon February 26.

More.

Much aggrieved as I am with the Fertilizer Scam (and all the other scams), I’ve noticed a slightly positive effect on me.

As I first tuned into the Senate hearings, I can picture the jeering and howling of an uncouth Roman crowd gathered to watch gladiators bleed, their swords for microphones, and their whips for Monobloc chairs. The roundtable discussion seemed more a soapbox for some, and musical chairs for others, as the same set of questions rang repeatedly out of tune.

But listening more closely, first to Sen. Estrada, heavyset and mustached, demanding answers; then to Sen. Cayetano, bottling up his frustration as only a 3rd Grade Teacher could; and, to Sen. Roxas, who despite his diminutive stature is the fiercest of the lot — all of them marching from one deposition to another, you realize that they, at least under the lights of ANC, are after the truth. Estrada was every pound “senatoriable”.

And, you wouldn’t realize this, if not for ANC. Journalism’s mandate from the people is to watch over government. That’s exactly what’s happening here. I have grown tired of seeing constituents, betrayed by their representatives, take to the streets demanding change, sometimes with alacrity. This is not governance, this is simply not knowing what to do. (Score one for the Rizalistas reading this.)

You see, the War on Corruption is on, and it’s being fought inside the government. The Commission on Audit, circumspect in their appearances, has cast sunshine and a brave spirit of honesty to the fray. Witness testimonies, one by callous one, are refuted by the auditors, their gender (female) greatly benefiting their image of purity on camera. They provide the sting as the Senators put Jocelyn and his cohorts to the sword.

In these moving pictures, I have found a sense of hope. I wrestle to forgive Estrada for the sins of his father, but no more than I do every Senator, as they are all “subject to interpretation”. Yet on this day, and the days before, they have played the role that we have all wanted, and needed, them to play. And my hope rests on them believing that they will not rest; and that, it changes their character as it shapes mine.

Citizenship is a funny thing, especially for Filipinos, who have woven themselves into many national fabrics. This, I believe, to the scourge of our own. It may be that sophistication among our constituents is too much to ask, but this does not deter, nor discourage, ANC from believing that somewhere out there are people who believe that seeing government in action is important: Filipinos maturing as citizens, Filipinos who want to believe. I could be one of them; and, one at a time, it chips away at my cynicism that government can’t do anything right. Unless, of course, the bad guys get away with it again.

Here you go:

1. So, yes, Dingdong and Karylle breakup. Good stuff. An underwear model calls it quits after repeatedly seeing his girlfriend being kissed on stage. Or, is it because the underwear model is tapping the beer girl/mermaid in the other set? Honestly, I’d have issues if my name was Dingdong — enough to make me go… you know, ding-dong.

2. Scroll to the bottom of that story: Anne Curtis and Sam Milby bid their goodbyes as well. I don’t know about Sam, but Anne’s stupid costume in “Dyosa” would have done me in. Why did they attach her wings to her arms? She’s like a handless Big Bird, albeit with better abs.

3. This is unconstitutional, right? Are sex toys illegal? If you hear “Sex Toy Raid”, won’t you think Manila poice have better things to do?

4. Suggesting that you might do something, like maybe in a few years, is news if you’re Claudine Barretto. I’m not saying that what they’re doing isn’t magnanimous, but it shouldn’t be used to get column inches. Unless you’re Brangelina, and you’re donating all the money to charity after.

5. And, I’ve suspected this for a while: Korean fugitives live among us. I mean, there’s so many of them, some of them are bound to be baddies.

6. Our local Survivor Castaways are apparently doing well in the ratings. I’ve seen maybe two minutes of it and I found it seemed staged; and frankly, it’s not repulsive enough. Soon, American has-been reality show Fear Factor will make its debut, and it better be repulsive.

7. The recent (deadly bank robbery) at the UP Diliman campus has stunned many. And now there are calls for police presence — currently not allowed — at the campus.

8. Video chat now, via gmail.

9. Here are 10 movies that make you want to smoke. Honestly, you don’t need ten. Casablanca is enough to make you wanna bust it like Bogart.

10. The physiology of a bully’s brain: they get high off other people’s suffering.

The finding was unexpected, noted Benjamin Lahey, a psychologist at the University of Chicago and co-author of the study, which appears in the new issue of the journal Biological Psychology. Jean Decety, a neuroscientist at the University of Chicago, is lead author of the study.

The researchers had expected that the bullies would show no response when they witnessed pain in somebody else—that they experience a sort of emotional coldness that allows them to steal milk money with no remorse, for example

Before I set up this video, let me preface it by saying that this is slightly NSFW (which is what makes it a lot of fun). As much as Anthony Bourdain’s “fisting a Samoan” quip.

Anywho, my Mom tells this story of a police-led sting operation in my hometown which led to the arrest of the kidnap-for-ransom gang. The gang is led by a certain “Fred”, who, by most reliable accounts, is the mastermind. He, of shockingly close acquaintance to the family, apparently selects the gang’s next target by “fingering” them. I do a bit of Katie Couric vs. Sarah Palin in the interview, but my mom delivers all the punchlines.

1. I’d tax gas in the city by 25%, all of which goes to public transportation infrastructure. Make all roads bicycle-friendly.

2. Break ground for a mass transit railway system that extends to Calamba in the south and San Fernando in the north. All provincial vehicles will have to secure a sticker to get into the city, which costs Php 2,500 annually.

3. Revoke the license of all bus operators. Put the bus system under MMDA control. Get them to line up and on a predictable schedule.

4. Remove all billboards — it’s the law!

5. Give all companies substantial tax breaks if: a. they allow their employees to work from home; b. they have a bike-to-work program; c. they install showers; d. they have carpooling

6. Launch a city wide carpooling campaign. Dedicate a lane on Edsa for cars with four or more passengers only. Jail the law breaker.

7. Launch a River Transit system. (Clean the rivers first!) Advertise heavily and get people to try it for free. Put in a lot of boats that can go across Laguna Lake. Have nice terminals for passengers.

8. Revoke all Driver’s Licenses (in a rolling manner). Get everyone to take the test again. Flunkers lose their license and their names are published on a website, sortable by type of license.

9. Go medieval on companies breaking our Environmental Laws. In fact, revisit these Laws and strengthen them. Tax companies who fail to comply and use that money to enforce. Mandatory semi-annual emissions test for all vehicles.

10. Mandate a four-day work week, with every city other than Makati working Monday to Thursday. Makati gets Tuesday to Friday. If you have business in overlapping cities, tough, schedule it!

11. Bonus: Levy a Mall Tax that will discourage more malls in the city.

12. Bonus: Launch a Philippine Football League.

A distant relative of mine goes by the nickname of Bornok, after the corpulent, somewhat naive character of local comic books (Jessica would know which one).

Though it is often times the case that, when describing people of stout stature, we readily employ adjectives: some seemingly apologetic, such as "large", some derogatory such as "baboy", or some more mean, "taba". But Bornok (obviously not his real name) can best be described with statistics. Bornok lets the numbers do the talking.

Let’s start with 2, which is the number of fetuses the doctor was expecting at birth, given the size of the mother’s tummy. Then, there’s 14.5, which was Bornok’s birthweight in pounds. Try 24, which is Bornok’s length in inches. He had outgrown his infant crib on the third day. There’s 32, which is the insufferable number of stitches the mother took because no one decided that a C-section had merits.

There’s 4, which is the age at which Bornok could finish an entire chicken by himself in one sitting (his parents were dead serious sharing that fact). There’s 15, which is the number of bananas he could snack on at a time.

Today, Bornok has finished college (thus, living down the naive part of his namesake) and is 6’3" and around 240 lbs. Good thing Bornok’s a friend, because the last thing I’d want is to run into Bornokin a dark alley. That’s another fact.

Mr. Ducat, now that you know that you can:

1. Do this at least twice in your lifetime.

2. Fake it.

3. Easily manipulate the media and the police, not to mention a senator.

4. Embarass the Philippine government on CNN.

5. Pass yourself on as some kind of Robin Hood and plunge the average Filipino into some kind of "ambush" moral dilemma.

Here are a few suggestions:

1. First, go for broke: Hostage a group of journalists. You should have gone and done the Binibining Pilipinas Poolside Press Presentation — even ANC would not have cut away from that for commercials. And the local channels would have stayed with Julius Babao in live coverage. (Ricky Carandang looked disappointed being pulled off the air.)

2. Always bring ice cream, dammit.

3. Next time you ask to talk to a Senator, ask to see Alfredo Lim. And make him wear a tutu.

4. Don’t sound like you’re leading a Bayan Muna rally. Practice your speech by learning Mike Enriquez’s panic-striken cadence and booming tenor.

5. Sell advertising on your cartolina signs. One never knows what lengths advertising will go to to get eyeballs.

6. Make sure you do it again on the same day, so the media will go abuzz every "anniversary" thinking you might go at it again. It’ll make sure that there are reporters at your kids’ doorsteps every year.

7. You missed something: profess undying love for your wife. Everybody loves a schmuck.

8. You missed another thing: endorse a candidate. Not that Bong Revilla could have used the publicity. In fact, at times he looked like he was "on location".

9. Don’t kiss the kids. You look really creepy. Kiss the contestants, though (see #1). That’ll be awesome.

10. On your 5th try, bring a cake and call yourself a pro.

At the Jollibee somewhere in Banawe Ave where you take cars to get fixed.

I guess customers have walked in and stolen entire sets of lavatory pipe fittings? They took the seat with them, apparently.