Before I set up this video, let me preface it by saying that this is slightly NSFW (which is what makes it a lot of fun). As much as Anthony Bourdain's "fisting a Samoan" quip.

Anywho, my Mom tells this story of a police-led sting operation in my hometown which led to the arrest of the kidnap-for-ransom gang. The gang is led by a certain "Fred", who, by most reliable accounts, is the mastermind. He, of shockingly close acquaintance to the family, apparently selects the gang's next target by "fingering" them. I do a bit of Katie Couric vs. Sarah Palin in the interview, but my mom delivers all the punchlines.

Posted by Bulletproofvest at 10:19 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)
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1. I'd tax gas in the city by 25%, all of which goes to public transportation infrastructure. Make all roads bicycle-friendly.

2. Break ground for a mass transit railway system that extends to Calamba in the south and San Fernando in the north. All provincial vehicles will have to secure a sticker to get into the city, which costs Php 2,500 annually.

3. Revoke the license of all bus operators. Put the bus system under MMDA control. Get them to line up and on a predictable schedule.

4. Remove all billboards -- it's the law!

5. Give all companies substantial tax breaks if: a. they allow their employees to work from home; b. they have a bike-to-work program; c. they install showers; d. they have carpooling

6. Launch a city wide carpooling campaign. Dedicate a lane on Edsa for cars with four or more passengers only. Jail the law breaker.

7. Launch a River Transit system. (Clean the rivers first!) Advertise heavily and get people to try it for free. Put in a lot of boats that can go across Laguna Lake. Have nice terminals for passengers.

8. Revoke all Driver's Licenses (in a rolling manner). Get everyone to take the test again. Flunkers lose their license and their names are published on a website, sortable by type of license.

9. Go medieval on companies breaking our Environmental Laws. In fact, revisit these Laws and strengthen them. Tax companies who fail to comply and use that money to enforce. Mandatory semi-annual emissions test for all vehicles.

10. Mandate a four-day work week, with every city other than Makati working Monday to Thursday. Makati gets Tuesday to Friday. If you have business in overlapping cities, tough, schedule it!

11. Bonus: Levy a Mall Tax that will discourage more malls in the city.

12. Bonus: Launch a Philippine Football League.

Posted by Bulletproofvest at 12:37 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)
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A distant relative of mine goes by the nickname of Bornok, after the corpulent, somewhat naive character of local comic books (Jessica would know which one).

Though it is often times the case that, when describing people of stout stature, we readily employ adjectives: some seemingly apologetic, such as "large", some derogatory such as "baboy", or some more mean, "taba". But Bornok (obviously not his real name) can best be described with statistics. Bornok lets the numbers do the talking.

Let's start with 2, which is the number of fetuses the doctor was expecting at birth, given the size of the mother's tummy. Then, there's 14.5, which was Bornok's birthweight in pounds. Try 24, which is Bornok's length in inches. He had outgrown his infant crib on the third day. There's 32, which is the insufferable number of stitches the mother took because no one decided that a C-section had merits.

There's 4, which is the age at which Bornok could finish an entire chicken by himself in one sitting (his parents were dead serious sharing that fact). There's 15, which is the number of bananas he could snack on at a time.

Today, Bornok has finished college (thus, living down the naive part of his namesake) and is 6'3" and around 240 lbs. Good thing Bornok's a friend, because the last thing I'd want is to run into Bornokin a dark alley. That's another fact.

Posted by Bulletproofvest at 09:50 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
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Mr. Ducat, now that you know that you can:

1. Do this at least twice in your lifetime.

2. Fake it.

3. Easily manipulate the media and the police, not to mention a senator.

4. Embarass the Philippine government on CNN.

5. Pass yourself on as some kind of Robin Hood and plunge the average Filipino into some kind of "ambush" moral dilemma.

Here are a few suggestions:

Continue reading "Dear Filipino Hostage Taker" »

Posted by Bulletproofvest at 10:36 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)
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At the Jollibee somewhere in Banawe Ave where you take cars to get fixed.

I guess customers have walked in and stolen entire sets of lavatory pipe fittings? They took the seat with them, apparently.

Posted by Bulletproofvest at 08:19 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)
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I went to the foam factory along Marcos Highway the other weekend, to buy a foam mattress. The errand's author had clearly determined that "firmness" was a high priority for this purchase: make sure that it's firm, but not too firm.

With my interpretation in mind, I put my butt to the test. While I had never used my ass to lead a purchase decision, this trailblazing opportunity will soon prove that my ass will play a more major role than I had initially thought.

Upon arriving at the Uratex factory, I promptly engaged the sales representative. (My apologies to the non-Tagalog speaking readers, this is really more interesting in the local dialect.)

Me: Ano ba po yung mga iba-iba ninyong mga kutyon?

Her: Marami po.

Me: (Pleased that she is clearly intelligent.) Ano yung iba-ibang... tigas?

Her: Meron po kaming soft, firm, extra firm, hard saka perma hard.

Me: (Puzzled.)

Her: Meron din kaming matigas, sir. Pero malambot sa loob.

Me: Ano yung difference ng "firm" sa "hard".

Her: (Matter-of-factly.) Sir, mas matigas yung "hard".

Me: E, ano yung difference ng "extra firm" sa "perma hard"?

Her: Sir, yung permahard po dilaw.

Hence, I put my butt to the test to try to divine their product differentiators. I never sat and squiggled so many times in my life. Never did reflect upon the small but perceptible nuances of shimmying left to right, and rocking back and forth, the latter most useful in divining the significant differences between "hard" and "permahard". Hence, through the wisdom of my gluteus maximus, I had bought my foam mattress and was on my way.

Posted by Bulletproofvest at 07:58 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)
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Sigh. I so crush Chuvaness that I want to give her something to smile about:

1. Philippines jobless rate came in at 7.8% in January, the National Statistics Office said Thursday. A year ago, unemployment rate stood at 8.1%.

2. More money to IRRI to continue building their rice gene bank.

3. Reports have it that El Nino weather is receding.

4. Toyota is building a new plant in our backyard.

5. We're better at paying our credit card debts. Maybe our taxes will soon follow.

6. Cebu Pacific is growing, which can only mean lower fares for everyone.

7. Angelina Jolie adopts a Vietnamese boy (So close! Her next child will want a Filipino sister!)

8. They found Satur Ocampo -- on Youtube.

9. Martin Nievera is a Las Vegas headliner.

10. At, may ka-MU na si Mark Herras.

Posted by Bulletproofvest at 03:22 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)
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Aha! Are you getting bleary-eyed now? Feeling a little amnesia? That's the sensation of learning!

If you guessed Eduardo Flaminiano in the last quiz, then, you are wrong! It's Vicente Magsaysay's ear you're looking at. And, who is Flaminiano anyway?

So, here's your new body part. Take a good look at that nose. It can smell trapo a mile away. It can smell the presidency a mile away.

Who owns this honker?

Take Our Poll from PollDaddy.com

Come back tomorrow for the answers, and a new quiz.

Posted by Bulletproofvest at 09:18 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
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The last question might have been too easy, eh? No way is that goofy smile anyone else's other than Ed Angara's! And have you ever seen Tito Sotto without a moustache?

So this time I'm making it a bit harder. Here's today's body part:

Imagine the kind of election cheating strategies and mudslinging tactics this particular ear might have heard? Or, maybe this is the deaf one. Do you think he cleans both of them at the same time for maximum pleasure?

Do you know whose Dumbo ear this belongs to?

Take Our Poll from PollDaddy.com

Come back tomorrow for answers and another quiz!

Posted by Bulletproofvest at 07:26 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
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All right! The last quiz's answer: Those manly arms belong to...

Miguel Zubiri! Yes, a few of you actually chose Loren Legarda because she deserves manly arms! Resty got, er, confused (read comments).

Here's today's body part:

It's deceiving, yes. Is it a smile? Or a grin? Is it smiling with you, or laughing at you? Do you know whose toothy grin this belongs to?

Take Our Poll from PollDaddy.com

Come back tomorrow for answers and another KYSBP Quiz!

Posted by Bulletproofvest at 08:33 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
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Do you know whose hand that is that's passing you the P500 bill? Or that eye that's winking back at you? Know your senatorial candidates' body parts and never be caught dumb when rubbing elbows with a future senator!

Here's the first body part:

Do you know whose manly arms these belong to?

Take Our Poll from PollDaddy.com

Come back tomorrow for the answer, together with the next question. Let's work together for better candidate awareness!

Posted by Bulletproofvest at 09:36 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)
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I'm tired of calling my services and getting a machine. I get a menu, another menu, and another menu before I actually talk to a human being I can bully.

So I'm asking the readers to post this: the number and directions to whatever service they call (or are used to calling) to get to an actual human being. Leave it in the comments. At some point, when there's enough, I'll compile it on a separate entry.

Here's my two bits to begin with.

1. Zpdee (Sky Cable Internet)

Number: 631-0000

Press: 2

Press: 4

Estimated Savings Time: 21 seconds (there's a lot of advertising in the opening menu, and a secondary menu to boot).

2. HSBC Premier (credit card)

Number: 878-9008

Press: 1

Press: 4

Press: 0

Estimated Savings Time: 18 seconds and an entire day ruined (there are three menus, and the lady talking is a bit too chirpy)

Where are your numbers?

Posted by Bulletproofvest at 10:35 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
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There's a reason why Richard Gomez, the pretty, athletic, granola James Bond that he is, should run for senator. Of course, he's exercising his right to do so, being that, despite the awful shame in his bid, this is still a democracy. And, if everyone around him is talking him up to do it, then by all means, let the man run.

But let him lose, too. Because that would make his run worth it. Running, and losing, would validate not only the audacity and absurdity of his enterprise (to some, maybe not, seeing that FPJ, of similar ilk, also ran for office) but of the administration's -- and the entire political circus' -- downright silliness. Gomez losing could mark a turning point in our electorate's consciousness: that, quite possibly, the elections are not just about popularity. I may be too idealistic here, but if you're reading this blog, chances are, you're smart enough not to vote for him.

For one, I'm willing, with all due respect, to wager that Gomez isn't too bright. He may be charismatic -- sometimes that's all you need -- but I think Gomez will get hosed in a debate with Edu Manzano any day. And that's saying a lot about Edu Manzano.

I digress. With the exception of very few, such as Herbert Bautista and Vilma Santos, actors-turned-politicians hardly accomplish anything -- scandalous, or otherwise. For one, they tend not to be opinionated, which requires, at the bare minimum, a desire to read. They tend to indulge in legislating sports, or the entertainment industry (none of them I wish to diminish here), and seem to never have the noggin for things like tax reform and the current account balance. (On the other hand, Gomez would probably do a good job playing a senator.)

On the campaign trail, I would think it's just as easy to belittle Gomez as it is for Gomez to shine in the spotlight. And he will, and everyone will be watching. I can see it now: Lucy Torres, in her Sunsilkiness, will take the stage, gush about her TVidol-turned-husband, and watch him melt the crowd. Just don't make him sing. Please lang.

So, when he loses, it might just be the resounding death knell for all those actors thinking about running. Gomez meets the first cut in becoming a viable candidate. When the voters go out there, and punish him for his ambition, they send a message that even lawyers, crooked until proven otherwise, can make better lawmakers. My hope is that the Filipino will. And even make Willie Revillame think twice.

Now, about those news anchors...

Posted by Bulletproofvest at 07:13 PM | Permalink | Comments (5)
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I recently had to present a VAT inclusive quote -- something I had never done before, as I've always quoted for my projects net (and the client recomputes the tax, blah, blah).

I'm not a math whiz but I had two different equations.

First, the way I understood it:

Base, or Net(88%) + tax(12%) = Gross

so:

Gross (100%) - tax(12%) = Base, or Net

Now, before any one screams "tax fraud", let me get to a sample computation billing Php 10,000 for simplicity.

10,000/.88 = 11,363 (Gross)

To check,

10,000 + 1,363 =11,363

where

12% of 11,363 = 1,363, leaving you Php 10,000 Net.

Bingo, right? Are you still with me?

Now, I was informed by my client that the BIR strictly does the math a different way:

Base x 112% = Gross

Therefore, billing Php 10,000 net will:

10,000 x 1.12 = 11,200

Okay, 11,200 and 11,363? Which one is correct? Checking the BIR amount:

12% of 11,200 is 1,344

11,200 - 1,344 = 9,856

That's Php 144.00 off from Php 10,000. Yes, Php 1,200 is 12% of Php 10,000, but in that equation, Php 10,000 is 100%. I'm no math genius, so something must be off here.

Posted by Bulletproofvest at 02:32 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)
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This may be a stretch, because, like the author says, the driving behavior is "unusual", but here seems proof that if we leave space in front of us for traffic to merge, we're actually getting to places faster.

The two gif images below illustrate the idea quite well. The two leftmost lanes is what we see everyday along EDSA -- drivers jockeying for position before a bottleneck (two lanes merging into one). You're lucky if you get through one car at a time.

Just to the right, however, is faster flowing traffic whichstems from larger spacing between cars, and nicer drivers on the right lane allowing traffic to merge their way. Of course, this means that everyone's not behaving like a gorilla. And that merging lanes are marked well ahead of time.

Posted by Bulletproofvest at 12:53 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)
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I'm making some posters for a UNDP project that has to do with bias against Muslims. My readings have inevitably led me to grim reminders of the violence that results from this AD-long friction: world history is strewn with dead armies and millions of innocent people all having given their lives for their beliefs. Muslims not getting jobs because of their names. Muslims not getting taxi rides because of their headscarves. Okay, sorry.

Alas, I had to look no further than Ruffa Gutierrez for some guiding light. She recalls her husband's (who is Muslim) first Christmas.

Recalled Ruffa, "Nung Christmas Eve, nasa bahay lang kami. Sama-samang pamilya. Nagpakain din kami sa mga mahihirap. Nagpa-staff party din kami. Nagbigay kami ng raffle prizes.

"Pagpasok pa lang niya sa bahay namin sa White Plains, na-shock na siya talaga. Nagpa-catering kami. Yung kinakain namin tsaka yung kinakain ng staff namin, pare-pareho. Lahat kami nag-games, nagpa-prizes. Namigay kami ng TV, appliances, gift baskets. Gusto talaga niyang maiyak."

Wow. TVs! Same food as everyone else! It must *really* be Christmas!

"It's the first time that he celebrated Christmas in his life kaya medyo na-shock-shock siya. He's Muslim. Alam nyo naman sa abroad, they celebrate Christmas, wala lang. Sa Turkey nga they don't even know what's Christmas. Touched na touched siya sa celebrations natin."

The bubbly Ruffa added, "Ako naman, I wanna celebrate all holidays—both Christian and Muslim. Gusto ko mga anak ko lumaki sila knowing all holidays."

So, the spirit of Christmas is:

1. Raffles.

2. Sharing food with your staff.

3. Celebrate all them holidays to show sensitivity for the fact that other people don't celebrate Christmas.

Her family is a shining example of how Muslims and Christians can co-exist! There's hope yet! (Okay, enough. Too easy to make fun of Ruffa.)

Posted by Bulletproofvest at 11:38 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)
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This is probably the biggest surprise among all my interviewees -- Willy Prilles Jr., who blogs at A Nagueno in the Blogosphere, is a downright funny guy. Here he is, Googling car parts, teaching us Bikolano, pretending to be a Senator, and sending Bulletproofvest a screenshot of his desktop. I couldn't stop laughing, and I can't wait to meet this guy.

Continue reading "Ten Questions with A Nagueno in the Blogosphere" »

Posted by Bulletproofvest at 11:23 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
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Carlos Celdran takes time out from his walking tours to do 10 Questions with Bulletproofvest. I've honestly never gone on one of his tours but it's so popular among friends that it's one of those "WHAT!?!" things. Shame. By Paolo's (and other's, well, especially Paolo's) standards, Carlos gets off easy with questions on socks, morons he loves to hate, and the best places to eat in Metro Manila for under P500. Still, I'd think this guy would be hilarious doing just about anything, especially if he looks like Nathan Lane.

Here's the interview.

Continue reading "Ten Questions with Carlos Celdran" »

Posted by Bulletproofvest at 06:42 AM | Permalink | Comments (7)
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Teachers, concerned ones, are going to the Supreme Court to challenge a bill that mandates the use of English as the medium of instruction in all subjects (including Filipino?), in what could only be described as: "sapilipinaslangmerongganitongkalokohan", or everyday BS to you and me.

Continue reading "EFL: English as the First Language" »

Posted by Bulletproofvest at 01:27 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)
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Of course I always get into these conversations, no matter where I am. But lately in almost every Christmas gathering I'm in, I find that people talk inevitably about either one of these people, not for anything positive, but how our lives would be so much more pleasant without them. In fact, last night I was having a Meebo chat with a reader and, voila!

So, my vote is for Kris, of course, who we all should put a stop to. Right away. Jenni is tolerable, and I do like husband Tom's photography. Still, a few disagree and I'll put her name on the ballot. Chico has the most annoying voice on FM radio, ever. And, Maurice Arcache just won't die, huh, palanggas?

I hope you have a hard time picking a winner.

My money's still on Kris. And, Korina Sanchez is my control field to make sure no one cheats.

Tags: Kris+Aquino, Jenni+Epperson, Maurice+Arcache, Korina+Sanchez, Chico, Philippines

Posted by Bulletproofvest at 12:31 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)
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Long week this. Plus, I've been fighting allergies since Monday. This made me feel a whole lot better.

Enjoy.

Tags: Weng+Weng, Filipino, Philippines, Impossible+Kid

Posted by Bulletproofvest at 07:25 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)
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OMG

Endorsement diva Kris Aquino, who had more or less 20 endorsement deals, says the only product missing from her list of advertising gigs is a noodle brand. “Favorite pa naman ni Josh ang noodles,” says Kris.

Josh is Joshua Phillip, her only son, who at age 11 already sports size-40 jeans and size-11 shoes. “Susko, paano pa kaya pag fourteen na siya?” Kris laughs. “Ni hindi pa nga siya nag-e-eleven-years-old, size-11 na ang shoes. Nagsa-size-ten lang siya sa Chuck Taylor’s, kasi medyo malalaki ang size doon. Pero sa ibang brands, size-11 na talaga.”

There were so many things wrong about this that I had to share it.

Tags: Kris+Aquino, panget, maarte, kainis, di+ko+ma+take, Philippines, unico+hijo

Posted by Bulletproofvest at 11:17 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)
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Since we're so socially-networked, you and I, I have often wondered how we can turn the seemingly pedestrian activity of collecting all your online friends into something worthwhile. Blogging doesn't count.

Carpooling, sorely needed in Manila, could benefit from our social networks. Most people wouldn't want to share their rides with complete strangers -- granted that these two strangers found each other -- but if someone's a "friend of a friend" and the two, or three or more, could share a ride, then I think it's a great way to use our social networks. And take a few cars off the street, get around the number-coding scheme, save gas, preserve the environment, stop the next ice age, blah, blah.

I don't commute everyday, but I imagine a lot of you do. Isn't time to share rides? Anyone out there already doing it?

Tags: Friendster, carpooling, social+networks, philippines, traffic+jams, EDSA

Posted by Bulletproofvest at 07:11 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
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I want to award two medals of standup heroism to two people today. One, Renato Constantino, Jr., who stuck it to the man.

And another, somewhat less newsworthy, but noteworthy nonetheless, to Vina Morales, who clocked Borgy Manotoc at Greenbelt for bragging about bedding her.

"Noong pagkakita ko sa kanya tumaas talaga ang presyon ko. Hindi ko po talaga napigilan kung hindi nilapitan ko siya, sinampal ko kaagad. Nagulat din siya tapos sabi niya: 'Oh my God!' Tapos 'yung girlfriend niya tumayo. 'Oh my God! What’s happening?'"

What's happening is that Borgy got b*tch-slapped, that's what. Congratulations. People get what they deserve.

Tags: Vina+Morales, Borgy+Manotoc, Renato+Constantino, Philippines

Posted by Bulletproofvest at 06:12 PM | Permalink | Comments (3)
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As part of her birthday celebration on Dec. 16, Quezon City Councilor Aiko Melendez is holding a Miss Gay Sinta ng Bayan at the SB Nova Plaza at 8 p.m. on that day. Aiko has invited her friends Gelli de Belen, Carmina Villarroel, Tuesday Vargas, Vhong Navarro, Candy Pangilinan and Sami (of Punchline) as guests of honor. Direk Maryo J. delos Reyes’ new all-male group Engaged will perform. Proceeds from the affair will go to the day-care centers of District 2. Among the sponsors are the Calayan Surgical Clinic, Pepsi Herrera, Avon, Sogo Hotels, Secret Garden Flowers Unlimited, Agua Jana and Bambbi Fuentes.

"This is my birthday treat to my constituents," said Aiko.

I'm secretly hoping that "Gay Sinta ng Bayan" is a typo for "Gay Santa ng Bayan". Man, that would be a great show.

Tags: Philippines, Quezon+City, Gay+Santa, Aiko+Melendez

Posted by Bulletproofvest at 08:10 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
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Reluctant master of the iambic pentameter and the Dewey Decimal system, Paolo Manalo, who in very few words, has become one of the most important literary forces in the last half-decade, does 10 fairly odd questions with Bulletproofvest. Paolo about poetry, words in general, tissue paper and a very cryptic reply on Bob Ong's true identity. He also calls Jessica Zafra on who could write the next great Filipino novel.

Continue reading "10 Questions With Paolo Manalo" »

Posted by Bulletproofvest at 12:26 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)
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The Pinoy version of sweet potato pie, is that right? No, sweet potatoes are "kamote".

Anyway, some Thanksgiving blues, but I thought I'd ask my readers: anyone done this before? And, can someone share a recipe for it? A kamote pie?

Tags: kamote+pie, cassava, sweet+potato

Posted by Bulletproofvest at 06:40 PM | Permalink | Comments (8)
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Archbishop Oscar Cruz:

"This is a sign from God that perhaps we are not doing things right in our country," Cruz told the Inquirer.

Cruz urged the faithful to view the tragedy in connection with other "man-made" disasters in the country.

"Nothing just happens for no reason," he said in a statement posted at his web blog.
"Nothing just takes place with no meaning at all. Otherwise, God would have no dominion over his creation and creatures. There is no such thing as good or bad luck. Otherwise, God would have no control over man, nature and events. This would be gross blasphemy."

Archbishop Angel Lagdameo does, in my mind, a little better:

"Perhaps, the destruction would not have been as big if only our environment and ecology were strong," he said in Filipino.

"What happens is our natural resources are weakened because of man's negligence.

The guy across the street says:

Well, we get more than a dozen typhoons every year. We ought to be more prepared.

To which the prophetic Cruz would reply:

"Of course, we grieve for the loss of lives. But for all we know, they're in a much better place now. They're with the Lord now."

Are you saying that some of the victims went to hell? Needless to say, Archbishop, they're still dead.

Tags: Reming, Philippines, God, Archbishop+Cruz, Archbishop+Lagdameo

Posted by Bulletproofvest at 10:03 AM | Permalink | Comments (5)
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Not good news for anybody. This could be the so-called "big one".

Tags: Typhoon+Durian, Philippines, Manila

Posted by Bulletproofvest at 09:15 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
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That's Sassy Lawyer to you and me. Like a few unsuspecting ambush interviewees before her, she hunkers over her email app and fires out snappy answers to these crazy questions. I asked her about her last meal on death row, what breaks her heart, and if she had a set of giant wooden spoons and forks.

Continue reading "Ten Questions with Connie Veneracion" »

Posted by Bulletproofvest at 07:10 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
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Everybody wants to leave the country. I have nothing but "bests of luck" and "farewells" to them, especially the doctors (who become nurses) and nurses. Makes me feel better about the quality of work those sticking needles in my arm can produce.

I digress. A friend of mine, an ad executive gainfully employed in a top agency once quipped: "Mag babarista na lang ako sa Montreal." Sure, he's kidding. After all, he's got 15 years experience, plus his degree.

But it seems that that is exactly what happens: there's a "non-recognition of their foreign-earned credentials" that lead to "institutionalized de-skilling, de-professionalization and institutional obstacles," according to one group in Ontario, who is telling the Ontario Legislature all this in a hearing.

“As a group,” the group said, “Filipinos are highly educated. In 2001 almost 57 percent of Filipino immigrants in Toronto had some university-level education. This compared with 33 per cent for all immigrant groups, and just under 35 per cent for residents. Moreover, most Filipinos arrive with a strong command of English and a familiarity with North American institutions. Despite these high levels of human capital, the average wage levels for Filipino men and women are substantially below a variety of comparison groups. Statistical analyses have shown that Filipinos have among the highest levels of occupational segmentation of any immigrant groups (Hiebert, 1999; Kelly, 2005).

The main cause identified in the survey and focus groups was the systemic non-recognition of Philippine-earned education and experience.  As a result of this systemic barrier, Filipinos are forced to take on survival jobs to support themselves and their families and to meet financial obligations such as debts incurred due to the high cost of immigration. Survival jobs provide no surplus to finance tuition or professional upgrading.

Posted by Bulletproofvest at 02:23 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)
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In between death threats and lawsuits, Ellen Tordesillas fires back at none other than Bulletproofvest. Here she is doing what others have, uncharacteristically yielding, and a generous provider of our blogbites of the day, including confessing to her TV guilty pleasures, and why Mike Arroyo is an insult to clowns.

Continue reading "Ten Questions with Ellen Tordesillas" »

Posted by Bulletproofvest at 07:22 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
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Dang, I used to like this guy. He and my mom went to school together (funny how he mentions it in his article). But it's this intolerance -- and the soapbox he uses to trumpet it -- that puts him on my *other* list.

Is our population getting to be predominantly pansy? Must we allow homosexuality to march unobstructed until we are converted into a nation of sexless persons without the virility of males and the grace of females but only an insipid mix of these diluted virtues? Let us be warned against the gay population, which is per se a compromise between the strong and the weak and therefore only somewhat and not the absolute of either of the two qualities. Be alert lest the Philippine flag be made of delicate lace and adorned with embroidered frills.

Mr. Cruz, I'm sure your perfectly "macho" sons won't stoop to your level. I mean, c'mon, how can you diss on Ellen Degeneres?

Read here.

Tags: homophobia, gay+bashing, total+BS, Isagani+Cruz, pink+triangle

Posted by Bulletproofvest at 01:35 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)
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See, now, we're on a roll. Manolo Quezon does 10 questions with Bulletproofvest. I was going to ask him if he was going to run for office, but I'm afraid to know what his campaign slogan would be. Here are his, er, explanations.

1. How'd you get to become The Explainer on cable? (And, who's that ladyfriend you have co-hosting?)

The "Explainees" keep changing. It started with my guesting on ANC shows to explain stuff -and some of the management saying, I should do more of it. And a lot of lobbying on my part over a period of two years.

2. I know your grandfather was the President, and I know he had some really nice cars, but what is it that you'd want 3rd graders in school to learn about him the most?

He never thought the Filipino the inferior of anyone, anywhere, at any time.

3. Follow-up: have you ever pulled out the 20-peso note to show someone a "family picture"? How'd that go?

No. People pull the note on me. And it's the worst damned picture of MLQ ever made.

4. Five events that changed the course of Philippine history.

1. Publication of Noli Me Tangere
2. The Battle of Manila Bay
3. The Invasion of the Philippines by Japan
4. Ramon Magsaysay's death
5. Martial Law

My note: what about the Ginebra-Shell game where Bobby Parks choked and Dante Gonzalgo hit the winning three to come back from 6 points down in 9 seconds?

5. And, three that might or should happen that will.

1. GMA's liver/heart/brain suddenly fails
2. Joseph Estrada keels over
3. Everyone suddenly decides to really vote wisely

My note: Or, pay their taxes.

6. My wife has a question: are you a historian, pundit, scholar, political analyst? (I need a real answer to this, because I have to defend bloggers anywhere I can.)

I'm a writer, an essayist who happens to concentrate on history and politics. Because of that, others consider me a historian and even a scholar, a political analyst and a pundit (since I do talking head stuff). Someone went as far as calling me a public intellectual which I don't quite understand (what's that?).

My note: a "public intellectual" is someone who thinks outside his/her shower.

7. If you could interview anyone, dead or alive, on your show, who'd you have? What questions would you ask?

Apolinario Mabini. Everything.

My note: Mabini, the ultimate insider, sounds like a thinking man's national hero, huh?

8. Can you beat me at anything? Beer pong? Battleship?

Trivial Pursuit, perhaps?

My note: Oh, yeah?

9. What should we, the voting middle class, be most afraid of this coming election? Lito Atienza's shirts? Or Noli de Castro?

It (the middle class) should fear itself, and its increasingly reactionary instincts because of how marginalized it's become.

10. So, the fearless forecast: who will be our next President?

I think we're set to have GMA as president-for-life. I'm still operating from that assumption.

11. Bonus question: shirt and tie or barong?

I have a fetish for bowties but they say I look better in a barong.

Now, bowties -- if anything, that's in the blood.

Tags: Manuel+Quezon, Philippines, The+Explainer, ANC, Manolo+Quezon, Pinoy

Posted by Bulletproofvest at 10:36 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)
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Had the opportunity to ask Jessica Zafra 10 questions for Bulletproofvest. Bang and Blame helped out:

1. I read your blog, but I haven't read anything you've published. Not a word. Does that suck? Why?

Not really. It deprives me of about ten bucks in book royalties, I'll live.

2. Were you able to catch Sting's performance with the Backstreet Boys at a VH1 special? (It was a male version of Divas Live). What do you think of Sting now?

What a hideous idea. Sounds like He-vas Live, the Has-Been Edition. Yes, I used to love Sting, but sometime in the mid-90s I suddenly realized what a pompous ass he is. I still listen to The Police though. I haven't had cable for three weeks because I forgot to pay my cable bill for four months—mostly because they didn't send it to me—and then I realized that not only can I live without cable (You can just get the entire season of the shows you like on DVD) but I can actually read more books. The only thing I really miss about cable is The Daily Show with Jon Stewart. I love Jon Stewart. And I love the old Even Steven segment with Stephen Colbert and Steve Carrell. I would like to be the filling in an Even Steven sandwich. Jon would be the pickle.

3. In the movie of your life, who would you want to be director? Writer? Lead?

I was going to say Max Ophuls or Martin Scorsese, but my life isn't exactly a romantic tragedy or an urban crime epic. So I'm leaning towards David Lynch. A remake of Dune, with a girl in the lead.

4. Name eight songs to be included in the soundtrack to "Jessica Zafra: The Movie"

Just have Tom Waits score the damn thing and I'll be happy.

5. This is for my peeps: what's your favorite color?

Still black.

6. How much of your writing is influenced by Catholic nuns?

It's fun to offend Catholic nuns, but way too easy. I like Saint Theresa of Avila, though. She kicked ass.

7. Given enough resources, would you choose to live anywhere else other than Metro Manila? Why or why not?

Absolutely. Metro Manila just wears you down with its noise, stench, chaos. I want to live in Venice, or Paris, or New York where the chaos at least has purpose and where goddammit, people read. But I would have to visit Manila every three months or so to collect material to write about.

8. What's the funniest thing you've ever seen, heard or done? I want it to be really funny.

Don't people understand that The Departed is a comedy? I saw it five or six times, laughed my head off every time. Martin Scorsese is a genius. Among his achievements in this film: making DiCaprio credible as a man. He does it by looking like he doesn't know what the fuck is going on, because face it, that's what a man looks like.

9. Who will write "The Next Great Filipino Novel"?

Me. That's assuming The Great Filipino Novel has already been written. Unless you mean Noli and Fili.

10. In Metro Manila, pick and explain three places you'd rather be dead than be seen at.

I'm not bullshitting you, okay? No place. I figure that no matter how heinous the place is, I can always write about it. In fact the more grotesque it is, the better.

11. Bonus question: your favorite superhero/heroine.

Okay, when I was a kid my petit-bourgeois parents wouldn't let me read Tagalog komiks, so every chance I got I would sneak into other people's kitchens and read their maids' komiks. I remember this komiks about a guy who says Taktalaok and turns into a giant rooster who fights crime. A giant crime-fighting rooster, what a stupid idea. Then when he wants to turn back into a person he says Taktalaok backwards. I've forgotten what the title of the komiks was but it really made an impression on me.

I'm glad I asked the bonus question -- reminded me of Super Kat! Now, if only I can get Sheila Coronel to do this.

Tags: Jessica+Zafra, Filipino, Philippines

Posted by Bulletproofvest at 09:38 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)
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Here's probably the most depressing story I ran across the past few days, so I had to break blog silence.

We are all waging our private wars against bad grammar, and worse, bad spelling. This has been a subject of mine for a while now.

SMS, while amazingly useful, has sadly made our English worse. The truncated messages have made us talk in abbreviations, of sorts, creating a whole new dictionary of cryptic, vowel-free terms. We all know this, as do 40 million other Filipinos who use cellphones for SMS. This vocabulary has entered the realms of business and the academe, where these slang abbreviations encroach on good taste, and ensure a bad impression.

So, the De La Salle University, supported by CHED no less, has endorsed a cure. The article starts out with promise:

Imagine yourself as a teacher for a moment, correcting tons of test papers, filled with coherent and rational essays. Then suddenly, there’s that one paper, that singular submission that reads more like a secret code with a collection of consonants, an essay practically devoid of vowels: “Shkspr s d mst rcgnzbl hstrc fgr. . . .”

The answer is being pro-active in the re-education...

“We want to take an active part in reeducating students in sending error-free messages by spelling each word correctly,” says James Young, senior marketing manager of software communications company Tegic Communications Southeast Asia. He headed a daylong festivity at the De La Salle University in Manila where the company launched its advocacy campaign on spelling proficiency. Appropriately dubbed, “Text Right . . . T9 It!” the project is supported by the Commission on Higher Education (CHED), in cooperation with TAPAT (Alyansang Tapat Sa Lasallista), which is one of the largest recognized leadership organizations in DLSU solely dedicated to student rights and welfare.

The last phrase, "student rights and welfare", was added in there for effect.

What is T9?

Young explained, “T9 Text Input is predictive software that helps mobile phone and PDA users to quickly write SMS text messages. It offers smart and simple mobile-text solution for users with its new features, which include smart word completion, next word prediction and enhanced multilingual support capabilities.”

If you’re typing “Hello” and you’ve only begun with “He” when the actual word appears on your phone’s screen, then that means your T9 software is already activated. You won’t need to type the rest of the word because the smart software recognizes and predicts the word you need to type. Consequently, this will save you time when you’re texting on the fly.

So, this means that *even* if I spell wrong, it'll make it right everytime! Great! So, hw d hck ds tht mke m a btr spllr?

Read here.

Tags: SMS, Philippines, English, De+La+Salle+University, CHED, DLSU

Posted by Bulletproofvest at 02:15 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)
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The annoying surcharge you get when you use your credit card (it really is extortion) is no more, so says the DTI. It's punishable by up to 6 months imprisonment. Most especially annoying since I'm used to going around without cash. And, with the holidays coming up, and 5 million Filipinos carrying plastic, the timing can't be any better.

I think. Read here.

Tags: DTI, credit+card, philippines, surcharge

Posted by Bulletproofvest at 09:45 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
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Lumiere: Viola! You look so... so...

Beast: Stupid!

Break the spell: What's your best caption?

Tags: Tim+Yap, Lumiere, Beauty+Beast, Philippines

Posted by Bulletproofvest at 09:25 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)
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Since nothing seems to stick on her, Imelda is now fulfilling her dreams of becoming a jewelry designer -- no doubt inspired by her hoi polloi.

Marcos, known for her shopping trips to ritzy shops in New York while the country wallowed in poverty, says she made the pieces from her old accessories and clothes, mixed with newly bought stones and other materials.

Her daughter, Rep. Imee Marcos, said that unknown to many people, her mother shops for trinkets and accessories at flea markets, and keeps earrings with a missing pair or brooches that have some missing stones.

Using a glue gun, scissors or pliers, her mother "can combine them with her vintage items in a way that comes out beautiful," Imee Marcos told journalists Monday during a promotional photo shoot for "The Imelda Collection," which is to be launched Nov. 18 in Manila.

It's all Borgy's fault.

She said the jewelry collection was the idea of her grandson, Martin "Borgy" Manotoc, who told her, "You are creating beautiful things, like jewels from practically garbage."

Read here. Pic from chuvaness (Cecile Zamora, who has a whole bunch of pics you don't wanna miss).

Tags: Imelda, Imelda+Marcos, Philippines

Posted by Bulletproofvest at 08:13 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
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Just wanted to mash up two little news items that came to my centerscreen. One, was a post from Bryanboy, spotted here, that, well, is irreverent to say the least.

And, here, Playboy goes to school, and a little bit about how a Filipina co-ed sparkles at breaking into modeling.

Senior community health major Katrina Guevara said her family, which is from the Philippines, is conservative - but that her aunt had said modeling for Playboy with clothing on was acceptable.

Guevara, 24, of Tylertown, said she was concerned about how the community might react.

I'm more concerned about your aunt thinking that models in Playboy can keep their clothes on.

Tags: Bryanboy+Philippines+Playboy+Filipina

Posted by Bulletproofvest at 06:49 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)
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Ah, Filipinos at their finest:

The few souls who braved the rains of Typhoon “Paeng” on Monday night were drawn to a downtown bar to watch its employees staple cardboard tombstones to its walls.

Andy Sinquian, owner of Rumour’s bar, calls the tableau of tombstones a “wailing wall.”

For P100, customers can buy space on the wall to put up their own cardboard tombstone and bury their pet peeves and negative thoughts for Halloween and All Saints’ Day, said Sinquian.

Now, what would you possible pay P100 for for a chance to write on a piece of cardboard and "bury"?

Another patron also paid to “bury” television host Kris Aquino and her game show “Deal or No Deal.”

The unknown patron added an epitaph that was so ambiguous it became a topic of conversation: “There are about a hundred or more kernels in an ear of corn. You are the tops.”

The ghost of Krismas Aquino? Yeah, I'd pay P100 for that. I'm off to Baguio this weekend.

Read here.

Tags: Kris+Aquino, Philippines

Posted by Bulletproofvest at 07:12 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
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Okay, that's really not nice to say, but there are rumors that Katherine Luna, star of "Masahista" (which I saw and liked) is having a hard time making ends meet and has now returned to her exotic dancing career.

Tough.

Naghihirap na nga sa Katherine Luna para aminin niyang bumalik na siya sa club para magsayaw ulit. Kumbaga balik sa dating gawi ang drama ngayon ng multi-awarded actress. Ayon kay Katherine, napilitan siyang magsayaw muli sa club dahil sa kakapusan niya sa pera.

Real talent, it seems, doesn't pay. You're better off having no talent at all.

Tags: Katherine+Luna, Philippines

Posted by Bulletproofvest at 07:44 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)
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I know, haven't blogged lately. Can't really find either the time or the subject matter. But today, a trip to the Department of Trade and Industry yielded some picture-worthy news.

The DTI's main office is along Buendia Ave, in Makati. Like most buildings along that road, they have little parking. This time they had none because, according to the security guard the parking lot was taken up because they had "an activity."

This activity turned out to be the "Ceremonial Destruction of Confiscated Uncertified Products"! And, since the media didn't look interested, I took it upon myself to inform the public of this momentous event.

Like most government sponsored event, there is an invariable amount of government workers milling around and just, well, waiting for something to happen. I did chance upon one security guard helping herself to a confiscated chain of christmas lights -- she obviously didn't get the memo.

At 11:00 AM -- a full three hours before the actual "ceremonial destruction" -- a steam roller was rumbling at one end of the parking lot. From what I overheard, he didn't understand the difference between "later" and "later this afternoon." Needless to say, he sat there, one foot on the gas, and the other on the gears. Ready to get it on.

His object laid strewn hapless on the parking lot. A strange but unimpressively small collection: from christmas lights, to lighters, to small batteries, to lightbulbs and a handful of toilet bowls. Maybe the kind you see at 168. I asked myself: this is all they were able to confiscate? No, wait! These are the virgin sacrifices for the ceremony! The rest are stashed away waiting to be resold! So, tt seems this party was just for cocktails, but there were many curious drinks. And, there were a few LPG tanks, but I doubt that the steamroller would take on these (that would make for a real party!).

So as the rain wore off, I started back on my errands and took a few more shots. Didn't stick around for the actual ceremony, but I sure it was a smash.

Posted by Bulletproofvest at 07:34 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (1)
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I'm now an AM radio junkie -- the re-discovery of which is the one upside to Milenyo. I love the rambling, the ranting and the flamboyant staging of all the satire (laced with pop cultural references), and of course the juicy sensationalized breaking news.

It's staying informed and entertained at the same time. The themes are common, all delivered with an exclamation point: disappointment with (even anger) the government (Hoy! DPWH!), celebrities out of control (...nakitang palurayluray sa kalye ng malate!) and trivial breaking news (...nadakip na umano ng PNP ang suspect sa pagkapatay ng pamangkin ng actor na si Mr. Robin Padilla!): precisely the stuff I surf for!

I'm listening now.

Posted by Bulletproofvest at 08:44 AM | Permalink | Comments (3)
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A few weeks ago I had a conversation with the chair of a rather ambitious communication program here in Manila: ambitions that have been yielding results. Separately, I had several discussions with people who work in call centers and academics in other fields.

They all come to the same frustrating conclusion: Filipinos have dropped the ball on English proficiency. I've blogged about this several times, capped by Alyssa Alano's peerless version of "Keys Me". The anecdotes we all share are illuminated by this SWS survey:

March 2006 results show a decline in all aspects of English proficiency, most notably on the ability to speak English, compared to December 1993 and September 2000 results.

About two-thirds of Filipino adults (65%) say they understand spoken English; another 65% say they read English; about half (48%) say they write English; about a third (32%) say they speak English; a fourth (27%) say they think in English; while 14% say they are not competent in any way when it comes to the English language.

Despite 68% knowing that developing good English communication skills "open better job opportunities":

The March 2006 survey found 68% who agree (42% strongly agree + 26% somewhat agree) that developing good English communication skills open better job opportunities for them, versus only 6% who disagree (5% somewhat disagree + 1% strongly disagree), for a high net agreement of +61 at the national level. Twelve percent are undecided about the matter, while 14% said they are not competent in any way when it comes to the English language.

Congress knows, too. So they're passing a bill (4701) to arrest the fall, voting 132-7. English clubs are to be formed. Linggo ng Wika, which has been reduced to a PTA junket/tupperware party, might actually get a facelift. Personally, I think the bill should explicitly state that na it's made bawal to, like, make-kwento like this, you know? I think everyone I spoke to the last few weeks would agree as well.

Tags: Philippines, English+instruction, English+language

Posted by Bulletproofvest at 03:44 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)
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This is my mom's dog. My brother and I called him, for no honest reason, "Todnih".

Not to be circumspect, but we did think this through. We led with the fact that we've had some really crappy names for our dogs -- like Whitey, Boomer and a female dog named Duke. (We did have a Cujo, and he really killed.) So we felt it was time for something more creative.

The real reason of course was to get a laugh. Everytime my mom would call out to feed the dog, she would yell "Todnih!!!" and everyone would be rolling on the floor (see picture) near tears. Poor mom. Of course, someone's going to get us back you know.

Tags: Philippines, dog+name

Posted by Bulletproofvest at 07:58 AM | Permalink | Comments (3)
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I was having a short conversation with my niece, 10 she is, on "Panatang Makabayan", that patriotic chant we were all made to recite everyday in school, for a good third of my life. There is a revised version, apparently, and felt it was worth my time looking into. After all, why change such a classic?

First the original version:

1 Iniibig ko ang Pilipinas.
2 Ito ang aking lupang sinilangan.
3 Ito ang tahanan ng aking lahi.
4 Ako’y kaniyang kinukupkop at tinutulungan, upang maging malakas, maligaya at kapakipakinabang.
5 Bilang ganti ay diringgin ko ang payo ng aking mga magulang.
6 Susundin ko ang tuntunin ng aking paaralan.
7 Tutuparin ko ang mga tungkulin ng isang mamamayang makabayan at masunurin sa batas.
8 Paglilingkuran ko ang aking bayan nang walang pag-iimbot at nang buong katapatan.
9 Sisikapin kong maging isang tunay na Pilipino, sa isip, sa salita, at sa gawa.

Now, the new one:

1 Iniibig ko ang Pilipinas, aking lupang sinilangan,
2 Tahanan ng aking lahi, kinukupkop ako at tinutulungang
3 Maging malakas, masipag at marangal
4 Dahil mahal ko ang Pilipinas,
5 Diringgin ko ang payo ng aking magulang,
6 Susundin ko ang tuntunin ng aking paaralan,
7 Tutuparin ko ang tungkulin ng mamamayang makabayan,
8 Naglilingkod, nag-aaral at nagdarasal nang buong katapatan.
9 Iaalay ko ang aking buhay, pangarap, pagsisikap
10 Sa bansang Pilipinas.

Of course, I would like to know why the changes were made in the first place. I keep thinking it may have something to do with OFWs, as lines 9 and 10 in the new version seems to more explicitly state a selflessness and generosity for the country, more so offering one's hard work for the country itself. This sense is not found in the original oath.

Actually, line 7 of the original seems out of whack to me. But my memory could be failing.

Anyway, what's missing in the revised version both in words and in spirit is being obedient to the law. Explicit in the first version, line 7, but the word "batas" isn't even in the new version.

Another, and more curious, is the inclusion of prayer, and therefore religion, in the new version (line 8) as part of a patriotic oath. The original version would have none of that, thus reads more progressive.

Then, there's line 9 in the old version, which places the oathtaker in a position of determination -- the strive to become a good citizen ("sisikapin") is replaced by a more passive sense of dedication ("iaalay"). The nuance of the latter, to me, pales in comparison to the urgency and "fight" captured in the old version's final line.

Finally, one of my favorite phrases, "walang pagiimbot" which to my mind means "without expecting anything in return" -- selflessness -- has been omitted in the new version. Shucks. I really do think the new version is both easier to memorize, as millions of Filipino students sigh in relief, but is also an easier oath to follow. I often think about these lines, as to me they were mumbo-jumbo when I was a child, but I sure wish we'd take them to heart more often. And with a new washed-out version, I think our kids are getting off easy.

My niece is learning the old version, whether she likes it or not.

Tags: Philippines, Pinoy

Posted by Bulletproofvest at 04:30 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)
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From one author to another, I had a chance to do an email interview with B+B, author of "Pink Shoes," a somewhat intimidating survey of the postmodern intersection of anime and the British Arts and Crafts movement.

Nah, I haven't read the book. But here's the exclusive interview:

1. I haven't read your book. Is it any good?

Pink Shoes isn't going to be a classic novel, and no one will be forced to read it for their classes in 'Masterpieces of English Literature', which is ultimately a good thing, I think. It's the sort of thing you pick up when you want to be entertained and your cable's out. But I think I wrote it nicely, I agonized over it during the editing process, it made me laugh and...well, what I'm really trying to say is that I think its good, so you better take my word for it.

2. As a self-respecting adult male, why would I want to read "Pink Shoes"?

Pussy! Where is your copy of Hustler?! No self-respecting adult male would get within ten feet of a book that is a.) completely Pink and b.) revolves around a footwear fetish -- although if cutesy pink ballet shoes get your juices flowing, then I guess your thinly veiled attraction to my book is the least of your problems.

3. Your characters are all whiners. Are you a whiner?

Not so much a whiner as a whinee - you know, the chosen receptacle which receives the whines disguised as queries for advice and sister-solidarity-building share time.

4. If you could choose anyone to play your characters in a full-feature film, who would you choose? Why? What about to direct? Why?

I want M Night Shyalamanamanabadabing to direct the film so that there can be this anticlimactic oh-my-God-I-didn't-see-that-coming! twist ten minutes before the credits. Like, the characters are all part of a great cosmic experiment by a race of superior alien beings trying to determine if women really are from Venus. I want old-school 70s starlets from 'Temptation Island' to play the characters and Joey Gosengfiao to write the screenplay, so that when the plot gets boring they can start dancing seductively or barbecue the lone gay character.

5. What's the best way to read your book? Why?

There's a funny, witty, non-bitter way to answer this question (without referencing snotty CW majors *cough*book launch*cough*). I just haven't thought of it yet.

6. There's another book on the hopper. Is there going to be more sex? Oral? Anal?

The second book is about a fag hag with a defective gaydar, and the first sentence is "Mario has a Screaming Orgasm in one hand, a Blow Job in the other." What do you think?

7. What do you hope your readers get out of your first book? Will you tame their insecurities? What about the second one?

By the end of Pink Shoes I want women to realized that there is no problem that can't be solved by a well-deployed mini-skirt with appropriately matching footwear (never wear minis with high heels, as they will make you look slutty). Mostly, I just want my readers to stop wearing unflattering gaucho pants, prairie skirts, cullottes or those annoying knee-length bloomers. We're short enough, please.

8. Can you relate "Pink Shoes" to call centers and world peace?

Durr, I'm stumped. So! Aside from my lack of height, jiggling belly rolls, un-telegenic square face and uncooperative hair, here's another reason why I'll never win Miss Universe. Tangina kanina pa ako nakatitig sa tanong na ito wala ako maisip na isagot.

9. How come you're never online?

Blogger, YouTube, YM, Gmail and everything else that makes life worth living is blocked by my office's Nazi IT firewall.

10. How many pairs of shoes do you own?

Uh...about 20, I guess. I have three athletic shoes, four beach shoes, three flats (black, bronze and silver), two brown sandals, five pairs of black shoes in varying designs, and about four or five pairs that are broken or out of style that I'm hoping will make a comeback. No, I don't have pink shoes.

The book is available in National Bookstore.

Tags: Pink+Shoes, chicklit, Pinoy

Posted by Bulletproofvest at 12:57 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)
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If anyone wants to see yesterday's (July 24, 2006) State of the Nation Address, I recorded it as an AVI file. It's not digitally-remastered, but with those nasty beveled graphics, who wants a clear picture?

The whole shebang (it is quite entertaining) is available if you drop your email in the comment box. I shall yousendit to you.

Tags: SONA, GMA, Philippines, Philippines+politics

Posted by Bulletproofvest at 08:46 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)
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My personal list. I'm working on it one at a time.

1. Answer each others prayers. I don't really pray. Matter of fact, I think we as a country pray too much, and we don't want to admit it. Stop praying and start being responsible for the poor, homeless and uneducated.

2. Pay our taxes. All of it. The country needs money to grow, and even if don't like what our government is doing with our tax money, we're still citizens of this country. Besides, who put those goons in government in the first place?

3. You can't stand public transportation? Car pool. I'm really forkin' tired of seeing the road crowded with cars with one passenger in it. I'd car pool if I could (I don't drive to work everyday, anyway). But I know so many folks who go up and down EDSA in their own car. Plan your day right, and everybody goes home happy. It's good for the environment too.

4. Have more faith in each other. Damn, if I knew how to get this done. Everywhere you look: faith in God, trust Him, there's Hope. That, to me, is a crutch. I'm not being blasphemous, but all I'm saying is that if we can find faith in something so intangible (and spend so much energy proving we can), then why can't we find faith in the millions Filipinos we see everyday, a lot of whom are honest, intelligent and decent people? I know so many who are love this country so much. And I'd quickly hand my faith over to them. Someone start a church for the Filipino, and I'll go there to worship everyday. I'll bring my wallet too.

5. Stop watching television. When you're doing something other than watching television, chances are you are doing something better than watching television. Along with that, we're also giving advertisers a run for their money.

6. Segregate our trash. Quezon City does it, as other cities do. It's your damn island, so you should start caring about it. You can also help by avoiding products that are over-packaged.

7. Drink San Miguel, eat Chippy, brush with Hapee, and put your money in BPI. Keep your money here, Filipino. It's easy, and besides, local banks have the best dollar TD rates.

8. Be a tourist. See the rest of the country. Metro Manila is really the ugliest part of the country (except maybe Greenbelt and the walk along Roxas Blvd). Get out and see the country. You'll have a greater appreciation of this land you were given. I'm planning on it.

9. Be politically involved. And, vote wisely. Listen, you only have yourself to blame for all those crooks, wise-asses, liars, thieves, and murderers holding our government hostage. Do everything you can to get rid of them in the next election. Your children and their children are at stake.

10. Be proud. This I find both the hardest and the easiest to do. We're so insecure in so many ways, that we tend to shut up when we should be shouting, sit down when we should be rising, and ashamed when we're in the spotlight. And, most especially, we don't say what we mean -- which stems from having little self-esteem. But considering the proud Americans have a donkey as a president, then we should all find this a bit easier. There are a bunch of reasons why we should be proud to be Filipinos, like our OFWs and Manny Pacquiao. Wear it like a badge, and use it to further your own success.

Tags: Pinoy, Filipinos, Philippines

Posted by Bulletproofvest at 09:13 AM | Permalink | Comments (3)
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Now, we all know about Friendster and MySpace (if you don't, leave the planet). And if you blog, you want to get to other like-minded bloggers. Right now, the best way I think there is to do that is Technorati, using keywords, or run a blogroll on your site. And of course there are blog search engines, and Pinoyblog.com, which, in my opinion, is getting over-crowded (Alas, an exclusive, elitist opinion. Shame!).

With niche networking sites evolving, is there a space for a bloggers networking site? It may be that all there is is a yahoogroup of some sort, but we all know how short yahoogroups come up with features (until, maybe the next version).

So, if there was such a site, I think it would be more like Last.fm, where you can create groups based on what you are blogging, and add to "blog stations" that create their own feeds based on categories or, better yet, tags. That way, your can weed through the muck of stuff you don't want. Maybe the site will allow cross-blogging via RSS, say, like the 9rules network. And a homepage well-designed and well-organized by section.

Kinda rough, but I just wanted to pitch that out.

Tags: pinoy+blogger, weblog, social+networking, philippines

Posted by Bulletproofvest at 10:14 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
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Right about now -- there -- you've had just about enough with the armed conflict raging in various parts of the country. Well, mainly two: ARMM and the Cordilleras.

Nice to know that we're safe and sound wherever it is we are. We're not getting shot at, mortared, displaced, evacuated, "salvaged" -- none of that, we're just fine.

There's a slight possibility that you're not aware of a few things, so they should be said:

1. These conflicts are the leading reason why this country lags behind its neighbors. Countries like Thailand and Vietnam, where government corruption is conspicuous, continue to prosper because of the influx of foreign investment: corruption can be dealt with, armed thugs are another thing.

2. Citing data from the gross regional domestic product released yesterday, the NSCB said real per capita GRDP was highest in the National Capital Region at P35,742 in 2005 based on constant prices.

This was more than 10 times the per capita GRDP of ARMM at P3,433, which was the lowest among the country’s 17 regions last year. ARMM, an area impoverished by more than four decades of armed conflict, relies heavily on agriculture and fishery.

The disparity is even wider if current prices are used to measure income. Average per capita income in Metro Manila was P184,758 in 2005 at current prices, or 2.9 times the national average of P63,556. It was also 12.2 times ARMM’s P15,161.

3. Hundreds of thousands of families living in the countryside are either living in fear or have been displaced from their homes because of the conflict. Just imagine if armed goons came up to your door and asked for food and money at gunpoint, every other day.

4. History will show us -- from Tikrit to Sri Lanka to Chechen to the Gaza Strip -- that fighting fire with fire is not the answer. This is asymmetric warfare, and George W. Bush can shock and awe all he wants, but no one's really watching.

And so, while we're preoccupied with becoming nurses, working in call centers, Joelle Pelaez and trying to impeach the President, a fire is burning in our backyard. And we're putting it out with more tinder.

Tags: NPA, Philippines, MILF, ARMM, Conflict+Philippines, Maguindanao, Cordillera

Posted by Bulletproofvest at 08:12 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
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I was reading an article not long ago about a self-published book called "Midwinter Turns to Spring" by a Filipina from the Left Coast. Amazon has the book description, with special focus on it's novelty:

"Midwinter Turns to Spring" is the first-ever novel that comes with its own music soundtrack.

First Paragraph: "Some things that are hidden from view were meant to remain hidden, but others are preordained to reappear at destiny’s prompting. An artist might conceal the fervent brushwork of his original sentiment under fresh layers of paint--but the underlying image often begs to resurface. Such is the sentiment of this story. Having been kept a secret for twenty-six years, it wants to live again."

Here's the article I read:

Maria Veloso, author of "Midwinter Turns to Spring," the first-ever novel with its own music soundtrack consisting of songs that she wrote, stands up to the New York publishers that snubbed her innovative approach to novel-writing, by taking her plea to Oprah Winfrey. Considering Oprah to be the real benchmark as to whether the American people will embrace multi-media storytelling or not, she has launched a daring campaign to have her book nominated by 1 million people for Oprah's Book Club.

Well, too bad nobody wanted to publish her work, she had to bankroll it herself. In the article, Veloso discloses:

"I understand that a new paradigm, such as a novel with a music soundtrack, is looked upon with skepticism, and is often rejected by publishers because there's no evidence that it will sell," says Veloso, who subsequently self-published "Midwinter Turns to Spring. "But what the publishers don't see is that music is the ultimate way of enriching the fiction reader's experience because it intensifies the emotional involvement of the reader much like a film score intensifies the emotional appeal of a movie."

Agreed, a book with its own soundtrack sounds a bit too much. But if it's a romance novel, I can see the value in that. In marketing her book, she says:

"I obviously can't compete with the mega-bucks of the giant publishers, who often allocate a national marketing budget of $1 million to land a book on the New York Times bestseller list. Therefore, I'm asking the American people - and the entire population of readers -- to nominate 'Midwinter Turns to Spring' for Oprah's Book Club because that's the best chance I have at touching and healing people's hearts through my novel and its music soundtrack.

Now, that's all well and good. No doubt, the dopeheads at ABS-CBN picked up the same PR release and, in their trademark insouciant fashion, spun this story:

What if a Filipina author wrote a novel with a music soundtrack, and it landed on The New York Times Bestseller List? What if she thereafter wrote the accompanying screenplay, which turned into a blockbuster Hollywood movie? What if the songs on the music soundtrack CD topped the music charts as well? How proud would you be? Meet Filipina author Maria Veloso and find out.

Hey, does that mean her book's on the NYTimes Bestseller List? After all, the writer buried it under real Filipino successes (um, The Black Eyed Peas?) with the headline: "Maria Veloso headed for Oprah Book Club", a line that in no way hesitates to lie.

Of course, I'm not an idiot. It's a call to help out the writer, who wants the fame and glory of Lea Salonga and Andrew Cunanan. But if you were an idiot, and you were reading this, and if you didn't see the gut of the story six paragraphs deep, well, you'd think Maria Veloso's book already made it.

So, the headline should be: "What if A Filipino Made it to Oprah's Book of the Month Club?"

Then, I guess, it wouldn't be a story.

Tags: Maria+Veloso, ABS-CBN, Oprah's+Book+Club, Midwinter+Turns+To+Spring

Posted by Bulletproofvest at 11:39 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
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Tuition fees for incoming students in all UP campuses (even Open U?) are going up. In Diliman, LB and Manila, it'll go up by 300%.

In a letter to the Philippine Collegian, UP President Emer Roman (go LB!) stated the following:

The tuition proposal is still a proposal at this stage. It will further
be refined depending on comments and suggestions we will get from the faculty, alumni and students. The increase from P300 to P1000 will be for Diliman, LB and Manila. The tuition rate for the other campuses will be lower.

I believe there is sufficient justification for a tuition increase. UP has not increased tuition for many years now - over 15 years. If we adjust for inflation generally, the tuition of P300 (set in 1989) is worth only a third of the value in 1989. The real value of the P300 per unit(set in 1989) in 2005 controlling for inflation is only about P98 per unit. The real value in 2005 controlling for increase in the prices of education services if P42 per unit.

The new tuition rates are proposed to apply only to entering freshmen and entering transferees from other schools. Those already in will pay the old rate. However, we will undertake an information campaign regarding the proposed tuition.

A few questions:

1. Can Congress augment this as well?

2. Can Congress exclude faculty from being classified as "government employees" so they can be renumerated on a different pay scale more reflective of their work, education and experience?

3. Can we now buy better laboratory equipment?

These questions may sound naive, but really that's how easy the problems are. Faculty is being paid pittance, the laboratory and other facilities are disintegrating and Congress is not doing enough to keep the state system from falling apart. It'll be 100 years old in about three years, maybe it'll turn the tide soon before it's too late.

Tags: University+Philippines, tuition, tuition+hike, Philippine+Collegian, Philippine+congress

Posted by Bulletproofvest at 07:41 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)
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I'm not an economist, but from what I understand, I can tell that:

1. VAT is a way to tax consumers, because they can't get the big bad ass tax evaders. Taxes, of course, buy guns n' ammo to fight communism, terrorism, poverty, squatters, muslim insurgents and charter change.

2. EVAT means more taxes on consumers, and more cash for the government. In simple terms, no more tipping at the cutters. It also helps that the government, masters of power generation, can raise power rates -- rates that are about the highest in Asia -- and have done so.

3. All told, VAT and EVAT improves the country's overall fiscal position, since, well, now the taxes are collected.

4. A better fiscal position means better credit.

5. Like $400 million dollars better.

I'm sure all that money will go to "countryside development". I know it's not that simple. But even the folks at congress can't figure it out themselves:

But the ability to make full use of the World Bank loans will be limited by the failure of Congress to pass this year's budget. Without a new spending plan, the government is obliged to spend no more than last year, or 16 per cent lower than the proposed 2006 budget.

Tags: Philippines, EVAT, Philippines+economy, World+Bank

Posted by Bulletproofvest at 10:07 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
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Nevermind the details, here's the funny part: as they pass the tricycle, my friend, in his shiny new Honda, pulls down the window and flicks the tricycle guy the bird. I've seen his middle finger, and it's quite impressive.

A bizaare tricycle vs. car chase ensues, owed more to the impressively smooth roads of Alabang than to either drivers' slalom skills. Shocked that a tricycle driver, having imposed himself so callously on him, would have the audacity to pursue (one less wheel!), my friend paused nervously at the next light. The tricycle driver beams directly into the passenger-side window, making his presence felt. They pull it down. (Why?)

Friend: (irked) Anong problema ba?
Tricycle guy: E bakit ka namamakyu? Ha?

Posted by Bulletproofvest at 08:21 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
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She has a crack body though. Gotta know what my anthropologist brother thinks about all this.

Oops, too late.

Posted by Bulletproofvest at 07:31 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)
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1. If you're getting off the last station stop, find the most forward car. On the MRT, this would be the first car. On the LRT, it would be the second car, unless you're a woman, which means you get preferential treatment in your own "female only" car. This car, by the way, is often 50% less crowded than the rest of the train. Tourists can fake ignorance, smile, and probably get away with getting on the "female only" car because I've seen the security guards shy away from enforcing the "only" part on at least one tourist.

2. If you're getting off any other stop, hop on a middle car. This ensures that you won't have to fall in the back of the line when exiting. I often get off Ortigas station and find only one -- one -- turnstile working for exiting passengers.

3. Wear your backpack in front. For two reasons: it's safer and it's easier to present its contents when your belongings are checked at the entrances.

4. There are no off-peak hours. There is one off-peak hour: 12-1pm. Before and after that, you'll be pushing up on someone else.

5. Buy a stored value ticket if you're riding daily. It saves you at least 10 minutes at the station, because lines to buy single journey tickets are long.

6. Don't wear open-toed footwear. Your toes will get crushed.

7. There's a train every four minutes or so, so wait if you can. If you couldn't get on the last train because it was already packed, there will be another in a bit. On the LRT, just make sure you remember where the doors opened the last time -- the stations don't have arrows to mark where the train doors will be.

8. No one's going to sell you anything. Nope, those Family First people won't be there.

9. The only way you'll lose something is if you drop it, or you present the opportunity for a clandestine dispossession. If you zip everything up and don't wear loose clothing, you'll be fine.

10. Spot the fanners. Some LRT car's A/Cs might be on the blink. To avoid hopping on a humid car, watch the train as it rolls along. If you see people fanning themselves, choose another car.

Posted by Bulletproofvest at 03:23 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
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Poor Zoren.

Posted by Bulletproofvest at 09:57 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)
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1. Kitaro, a fast food Japanese restaurant, makes a great meal out of their “Tofu Steku”, or what I believe to be “tofu steak.” Good stuff.

2. Bonnie Bailey’s “Ever After” is everywhere. I’ll post an mp3 when I have the bandwidth.

3. Speaking of bandwidth, it’s been a month since our request for a DSL line. All I wanted for my birthday was DSL!

4. Crispy pata, unfortunately, will make you fat.

5. Never wear baggy clothing in public transport. I witnessed my first attempted pickpocket when I was riding the LRT: as the train approached a station a man got up quickly and started pressing against another man from behind, presumably to signal (rather emphatically) his urgency to exit. There really was no reason to push, because it wasn’t a full car, no one was pushing the pusher from behind. In that brief moment, I saw the man from behind lightly tap both back pockets of his would be victim!

Finding nothing, within seconds he then perfectly timed his quick exit with the train doors opening. The would be victim looked around, possibly feeling the rush of air as the man behind him exited quickly. If he had his wallet in his back pocket (in his baggy jeans) it would have certainly been taken.

Posted by Bulletproofvest at 09:01 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
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1. When applying for a water line, say for a new house you're building, the MWSS requires you to attend a seminar on proper water use and conservation.

2. There are no left turns heading north or south on EDSA, except, of course when it's a "flyover" or when it's three in the morning.

3. Everybody has a cellphone, and nearly everyone takes pictures with it.

4. It is the policy of gyms and fitness centers not to give membership rates over the phone. They, however, will call you back to set an appointment.

5. Alimu, of Metrowalk, is the nicest guy to buy DVDs from.

6. The food at Big Bowl of China is as greasy as the guy who serves them.

7. Luk Yuen (still) rules.

8. The new "color coding" (based, magically, on numbers) system is as arcane as the Dewey Decimal system. First, start with the last digit of your license plate. Ones and twos are no-gos on Mondays. Threes and fours, Tuesdays. So forth and on until nines and zeros Mondays. Then you may use your unexempt cars (or is it the other way around?) from 10 AM to 3 PM except in Makati, which straddles the main thoroughfares anyway. Then, take the last two digits, add it up and multiply by 100 and that's the fine the MMDA will slap on you. I made the last part up of course.

9. You will invariably meet someone who works at a call center.

10. Bidshot, an auction site, makes money not off of auctions but off of text SMS used to manage these auctions. They have sophisticated technology that blocks cellphone numbers no matter how you disguise it.

Posted by Bulletproofvest at 08:20 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)
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After polishing off an entire bag of these oily, salty, garlicky roasted popped corn (only way to really describe it), a look at the nutrition facts in the back revealed that the stuff really isn't bad for you -- if you serve it sliced!

Posted by Bulletproofvest at 02:58 PM | Permalink | Comments (5)
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So, natuwa ako na si Sharon ang Megastar, si Maricel ang Diamond Star, si Ate Vi ay Star for All Seasons at si Ate Guy ang tunay na Superstar!

E ano si Jolina?

Posted by Bulletproofvest at 05:52 PM | Permalink | Comments (4)
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In a recent PCCI forum, the chamber revealed its plans for reinvigorating the local tourism industry:

"We are committed to bring in five million foreign tourists, generate US$5 million in tourism receipts, and create five million jobs through US$5 billion worth of investments in tourism by 2010," said Samie Lim, PCCI vice president for Tourism.

Um, that makes a total of one buck from every tourist? And a job for each visitor? And a million dollars spent per visitor? Dang, with math-savvy business leaders like this, there is hope for the country yet!

Posted by Bulletproofvest at 11:50 AM | Permalink | Comments (7)
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In the jumbled up file of torrents, I found this gem, languishing in the unsorted bin. You know you've arrived when...

Posted by Bulletproofvest at 12:25 PM | Permalink
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Along the Benjamin Franklin Parkway, site of this Summer's Live 8 and today's Wachovia Pro Cycling Series, is the Philippine flag. It marks the corner of the Parkway and 21st Avenue.

Posted by Bulletproofvest at 04:07 PM | Permalink
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In 80 clinical trials, Dr. Glenn Wilson, a psychiatrist at King’s College London University, monitored the IQ of workers throughout the day.

He found the IQ of those who tried to juggle messages and work fell by 10 points — the equivalent to missing a whole night’s sleep and more than double the four-point fall seen after smoking marijuana.

In the texting capital of the world, this is news. Not for me: I'm good at ignoring my mobile.

Posted by Bulletproofvest at 05:30 PM | Permalink
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Okay, that's not really a word. But how should I know, I had Kasaysayan and Kapnayan in college when I should have had History and Biology?

Okay, that's a lie. I had neither, but they were there for me to take. I do remember finding it very, er, unintelligent for U.P to push Filipino as a medium of instruction when:

a. Filipino itself isn't clearly defined
b. The language is simply inaccessible

They started waving Jose Rizal's quote at everyone's face, ignoring all the signs that point to English competency as a global competitive advantage. Okay, so we know our Chemistry, but your writing skills suck.

Now, the City of Manila is trying to undo that.

Since the current trend in employment remains to be working overseas, he said it was only necessary to protect the advantage of Filipino workers over those from other countries.

Apart from the skills and productivity, Filipinos are hired by foreign employers because of their good command of the English language.

By the way, not using my native language (which is Tagalog; and I do use it often) doesn't make me less of a Filipino than I already am. On the other hand, Filipinos who do not eat balut are lesser Filipinos, if you ask me.

And you should know by now never to take me seriously.

Posted by Bulletproofvest at 02:14 PM | Permalink
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The five-star, and at one time there was a dud called the one-star, appears to have gotten its name from a ratings scale akin to the Richter, where the five-star is 5 times louder than the one-star. I tend to believe that they made the five-star first, and made a weaker version to complete the scale. Quite a marketing achievement if you think about it.

The "bawang" gets its name from its shape and packaging. Indeed, it looks like a bulb of garlic but at one time I actually thought it was designed to smell like garlic when it exploded. I never liked the packaging myself, because, if you take the time to analyze it, it's all meant to disguise the fact that it's just paper with very little explosive in it.

My favorite of course is the "pla-pla" so named because it resembles the shape of the saltwater fish with the same name. This sucker can bust a hole in a 10-gauge galvanized iron barrel, I know. And it gives off one heck of a bang (not as strong as a homemade calburo cannon fashioned from an old iron septic pipe). I like the power it gives you when you hold it in your hand, there it is, P 80.00 of pure thunder.

The Superlolo, which by far has the funniest name, is one old man that packs a punch: it has about the same amount of powder as a "kwitis" and it's tightly packed into a small convenient package. Could it be it's name comes from the whole "wala ka sa Lolo ko!" drivel? I don't know. (I know somewhere out there someone's painted the triangle-shaped "Superlolo" purple and called it Viagra.)

Kwitis and baby rockets (bottle rockets here) are seldom fooled around with anymore, unless you line them up across a piece of wire by the dozen and light them up with a flaming roll of newspaper. There's plenty of joy seeing them all race up to the sky in a streak of lightning. Run for cover though because the spent rockets hurtle back to earth just as fast.

The "pailaw" I could never get (it doesn't really explode, it just disassembles into a few more pieces) but the concept of the Kwiton -- a truly mighty rocket -- I do get. It's P 120.00 of pure testosterone on a bamboo stick. You can feel the ground vibrate as it takes off, and in fact it takes off like the Saturn rocket: split seconds of bursting flames and smoke, the rocket shimmies and shakes before thrust cancels weight and gravity and, in a blink of an eye, the Kwiton is aloft. Proud to finally fulfill it's designers purpose: to leave earth with a payload enough to blow up a small home. When it finally does deliver its awesome firepower, the explosion is immense and the timbre deep.

What puzzles me the most is "Og". Has anyone heard of this firecracker? It's slightly larger than a 5-star but smaller than a Superlolo. What puzzles me is how it got its name. If anyone out there knows, please post a comment. Otherwise, I'll be wondering aloud again.

Posted by Bulletproofvest at 07:18 PM | Permalink | Comments (3)
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I guess he's, like, a jack-of-all-trades.

Posted by Bulletproofvest at 05:34 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)
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Even her current site has problems articulating exactly what it is plastic surgery is needed for:

Ideal beauty is the attractiveness that is best suited for the individual, with an emphasis that this can be accomplished based not only on what fits the meaning of being beautiful according to the current times, but also the compatibility of this style to the person's total make-up.

That said, the woman had vision (and great skin!). She knew that cosmetic procedures in the U.S. were becoming massively popular because the technology was advancing into making it both more effective AND accessible. Prices for procedures were falling and consequently the market expanded.

Her vision was to be the best in her field, technically. And she had the credentials and the gear. However, her marketing approach was different (which is why the philosophical mumbo jumbo above is really all that, philisophical mumbo jumbo): cosmetic surgery, from butts to boobjobs, is about sex. And indeed sex sells. Yes, they have patients recovering from burn injuries, but why cut yourself up if not to look more physically attractive? It's not like going to the gym to start looking good AND be healthier. Furthermore, I believe the notions of changing your physical appearance -- a higher level of vanity -- is so alien to Filipinos, who themselves are culturally not all that physically vain, that Belo needed to "popularize" the idea of doing exactly that. Compare Korean women in college -- with their fashionista packaging, their extrafolded eyelids and their wanton use of makeup -- with their Filipino counterparts and you'll see what I mean.

So, calling on Rosanna Roces (a current favorite at BV) to become her celeb endorser was sheer marketing genius. Rosanna is fun, she's provocative, she's sexy and she's "masa" (almost "jologs") that she is able to embody (pun intended) all the narcissism and vanity that surrounds cosmetic surgery and poke fun at it -- making it appear acceptable. And, more importantly, current, and as easy as smiling and twisting her hips.

Now, curiously enough, Vicki Belo has a new vision:

The future, according to Dr. Vicky, is the thread face. It involves no cutting of facial skin and its healing time is much quicker than a traditional face-lift.

"I have been doing this procedure for three years now and Americans have been doing it for three months only," she says. "That's why I was invited to speak on this Russian-invented procedure. I said that the Philippines could be the cosmetic surgery capital of the world.

Posted by Bulletproofvest at 01:15 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)
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And, no nurses either.

Posted by Bulletproofvest at 06:49 PM | Permalink
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"While watching, they had questions, and I explained to them in a very adult manner what was happening," said Lani. "I told them their brother Jolo was now a father, but explained to them that he is not married to the baby's mother. I wanted them to learn the lesson in this."

She says that if they have a second child, it would "no longer be an [accident]"

The father had other words:

Senator Revilla said he also warned Jolo about having premarital sex.

"I asked him to refrain from having sex," said Bong. "He's still too young for that. I didn't blame Jolo for what happened. That's not my style. But I warned him that I'll wring his neck if he has another baby while he's still a minor and not prepared for it."

"Let this serve as a lesson to other kids, not only my children," Bong added. "The youth should act responsibly and not get themselves into situations like this. While having a baby is a good thing, this should happen at the right time. In Jolo's case, it's too early for him to be having a baby. But we've accepted the situation, and we're happy to be grandparents, Lani and I.

Posted by Bulletproofvest at 02:46 PM | Permalink
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But that was in a drama series, here's something a bit more real:

Her daughter, Grace Adriano, 15, gave birth yesterday at 1:30 p.m. to a seven-pound boy. He will be called Jose Gabriel (nickname: Leone).

Grace had a normal delivery according to Dr. Suyen Granados Rivera. Jolo Revilla, 16, the baby's father, had to skip school to be with Grace who was brought to the Cardinal Santos Hospital at 8 a.m. yesterday. Jolo is the second son of Sen. Bong Revilla and actress Lani Mercado.

If that doesn't "legitimize" the enterprise, the father's mom, actress Lani Mercado, videotaped the entire delivery.

(The real story here is how "Jose Gabriel" became "Leone".)

Posted by Bulletproofvest at 08:20 PM | Permalink
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Well, take that and add our legendary texting prowess and you've got an excellent Friendster beta market for its new mobile SMS product.

Friendster will soon launch its first mobile service in the Philippines to test the concept of merging the biggest online social networking service with mobile phone technology, an executive told INQ7.net.

After six months of negotiations, Friendster has picked local mobile phone content provider Entertainment Gateway Group (EGG) to roll out the social networking service in the country, according to Joe Hurd, director of international business development of Friendster.

The Friendster mobile service will soon be available on the networks of three mobile phone operators, namely Smart Communications, Globe Telecom and Sun Cellular.

Posted by Bulletproofvest at 07:52 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)
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Here is another feather in BF's cap. I wonder when other mayor's will stop being ganglords and start being more like heroes (pun deliberate of course).

Posted by Bulletproofvest at 04:01 PM | Permalink
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1. Lechon Manok, one piece at Php 1,365.00 a chicken.

2. Peking Duck, one piece at Php 900.00 a duck.

Now, if that chicken doesn't come with a stripping chef...

Posted by Bulletproofvest at 07:17 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)
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"Nobody wants taxes whether here in the Philippines or abroad, people do not really want taxes. But as they said, the only two things inevitable in this life are taxes and death," Mr. Drilon said in a television interview.

First off, I don't mind paying taxes, as long as they are based on a fair structure, and that my government (who needs it to function) will use it to better serve me. Now, obviously, there are people who dislike paying taxes so much that they end up not doing it at all, thus the tax amnesty bill.

You see, it plays out like this: if a mother tells a misbehaving child, look, I'll let this one pass and let that be a lesson to you, will that mean he'll never fool you again? Those tax forms may be so hard to work through that it's easier to just bribe my friendly neighborhood tax collector to get it over with. Change is tough, and I've had too many government officials and judges on my payroll (not to mention the lawyers). Ever heard of this one: If I didn't cheat on my taxes, I'd be out of business? Lets just wait for the next round of amnesties, shall we?

For the big time tax evaders, I say, if Martha Stewart and Al Capone can go to jail, make these people pay up and pay time. Meanwhile, let Manila reap the blessings of a Greenhills' tax-free tiangge shopping!

Posted by Bulletproofvest at 08:32 AM | Permalink
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Three things that happened on September 11:

1. This (wished it didn't happen)

2. This (wished it didn't happen too)

3. And, whoa, this.

Posted by Bulletproofvest at 04:50 PM | Permalink | Comments (4)
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Apparently it ended really well: The person who thought about getting viewers to vote on how it all ends -- and show two alternative endings -- is a genius. The ratings for the series had 65% of all televisions tuned in. Wow! Are they going to let us vote on John Lloyd's and Bea's ending too?

That said, I would have voted for Ara and Mary Anne. You know, some g on g action.

Posted by Bulletproofvest at 10:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)
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If there are many shirtless men roaming around in a certain community, there are also many criminals such as thieves, snatchers and robbers in that area.

Sabi mo e.

Posted by Bulletproofvest at 12:20 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)
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Foreign Minister Alexander Downer has inflamed tension with the Philippines, suggesting it acted like a "marshmallow" and provoking a formal protest from Manila.

The Philippines will demand Australia's ambassador attend a dressing-down today, following similar action by Spain yesterday over Mr Downer's claim that its withdrawal from Iraq had also encouraged terrorists.

No reason to get hurt. Australia is still reeling from the fact that Bush had them sold on the war and finding WMDs. Not that we weren't, and indeed, had Angelo dela Cruz not been hostaged, we might have stayed in Iraq to please our American friends. Whatever the reason, we have now joined the coalition of the unwilling. And that's okay by me. You don't burn the house down to catch a mouse, Mr. Bush.

Posted by Bulletproofvest at 06:41 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)
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Pero mas nagulat ako na ama na pala si Tonton Gutierrez sa isang "baby girl" sa asawa nyang (dapat linawin na asawa, ahem) si Glydel Mercado (na nakita ko na na ubod nang laki ang mga mata). Ang pangalan daw ay "Aneeza", na pinagsamang pangalan ng dalawang magulang. Diba dapat "Tondel" o kaya ay "Glyton"? Ang gulo!

Posted by Bulletproofvest at 06:13 PM | Permalink | Comments (4)
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As de la Cruz ponders on these questions and on his future, he is very sure of one thing, according to press reports. He would till a two-hectare farm and go back to farming, just like what an entire generation of de la Cruzes had done before him. My brotherly advise to him is No. Forget it. Find another overseas job but work in a country with the least of work-related hazards. Don’t go back to farming unless your agenda is to live on a hand-to-mouth existence. And unless you want to starve your eight kids.

I am a farmer myself and I will tell you why.

The Filipino farmer generally lives a wretched life. That we are the wretched of the earth is an apt description on who we are.

"Wretched" is a strong word. I would normally use it only to describe non-human conditions, such as the taste of coffee from a vending machine or, say, a movie. To call the life of the Filipino farmer -- all Filipino farmers -- as "wretched" is to me both desultory and self-defeating.

Sure, I may be too optimistic for my own good, farmers do have it hard in the Philippines, maybe even hopeless in many cases. The numbers sure seem helpless:

The Filipino farmer generally lives a wretched life. That we are the wretched of the earth is an apt description on who we are. For example, a typical rice farmer gets P15,000 a year, per hectare, net. The most efficient rice farmer nets roughly P35,000 to P40,000 per hectare, a year. At the most, the two hectares of Angelo will give him P80,000 net a year from rice farming. Filipino truck drivers overseas can ear that amount in two months or less.

But "wretched", to my mind, is also destitute, even worthless, almost void of pride. Certainly those qualities do not fully describe the Filipino farmer, an individual so downtrodden but not without dignity? One would, publicly, reserve the words "wretched of the earth" to describe other more abominable beings. For example, for irresponsible columnists with sticks up their asses.

If the point of the article, hence, is to discourage Angelo dela Cruz from returning to his farming roots, can it not be done without slamming and dissing on the Filipino farmer? I have relatives, friends and in-laws who are farmers, yet the thought of them being in a "wretched" state is far from their mind. Everyone's had hard times, but if you call yourself "wretched of the earth" you might be so utter a failure that you can't even believe that better times are ahead. Admitting you are a loser will no doubt make you one.

Of course, I cannot argue with Mr. Ronquillo if he so believes -- being a farmer himself -- that the life of a Filipino farmer is indeed "wretched". How I wish it was at least a bit more bearable for him, that way he might have stuck to farming and saved us the bloated self-pity of his Sunday column.

Posted by Bulletproofvest at 02:03 PM | Permalink
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Everdearest kris,

I am like you.. Loving without buts and ifs..without conditions..fully trusting..always the second best..but it is said what is due to Juan should be for him.
I always watch and try to update myself with your situation through TFC here in Dubai. i am not a hypocrite nor a saint but as I could analyze it.. YOU ARE A VERY STRONG WOMAN WITH ALL THE EXCELLENT TALENTS..
I admire you for being so honest and brave enough to ask forgiveness for the people youve hurt and for giving lessons for the people who are trying to use you. GMA MUST PAY FOR THAT..DONT LET THEM STEP OVER YOU..
Nevertheless let the courts decide and judge. Dont say a single word against them but try to leave everything to your lawyer.
I know that you trying to straighten your life..JUST HOLD ON and STAND FIRM ON YOUR PRINCIPLE AND HAVE FAITH IN GOD.

Inspiration for those needing it.

Posted by Bulletproofvest at 04:21 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)
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His is a different form of celebrity -– not the regular kind that comes with entertainers, or the kind that attends notoriety -– but it is a form that celebrates his good looks even as his origins are alluded to, then discursively erased. In the warped world of Philippine politics and its happy entanglement with entertainment, the lack of retributive justice – encapsulated here in Borgy’s stardom -– is the appalling failure on the part of the government (in collusion with the media, and the amnesiac fans) to learn from the errors of history. To see the smiling face of Borgy is to see the face of his grandfather laughing.

I, too, dislike the fact that Borgy, like the rest of the Marcoses, walk untramelled by the sins of their past. Indeed, Borgy may not have been to blame, but he must feel at least ashamed. Or, has his mother taught him so well? (And Tim Yap, former Benetton (see Gift Gate) model turned columnist -- or the other way around -- gives Borgy's Swatch endorsement even more irony.)

Does it hurt more to think that Borgy once dated Sarah Meier?

Read The Wily Filipino here.

Posted by Bulletproofvest at 09:11 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)
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1. Imelda, the movie, has apparently been hit by a restraining order and is on appeal at the SC for reversal for having such absurd grounds too delicious and vile (at the same time!) to mention here. Ew-ew-ew. Imelda, the person, has made it her birthday wish for the SC to stop showing the movie for good. Okay to show "The Passion", even if it is at face anti-Semitist. But not okay to show Imelda, the movie (okay that's the last time), because it's about the loathsome, crude and shamelessly entertaining life of the wife of the former dictator.

2. Jinggoy apparently didn't get a Senate office. Hint hint.

3. And, pandesal now costs a whopping P2 per piece. I remember it at two for P1, and Coke (sa plastic) was P1 too. The good news is the pandesal, says the Philippine Federation of Bakers Association (wha?), is now bigger and heavier.

Posted by Bulletproofvest at 04:52 PM | Permalink
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Gotta catch that plane at 7:30 Why haven't you come to say goodbye Time is running out and I'm still waiting I'm so lost without you, I could die Yesterday you said you loved me Everything seemed to be fine Today you're not here, I'm so lonely It's the waiting that's driving me out of my mind

You bet it is! Read here.

Posted by Bulletproofvest at 06:43 AM | Permalink | Comments (4)
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And now it has come to pass, that this term, slang for jeepneys curbed along any Makati street serving hot food and soda in a plastic bag, has entered the annals of our vocabulary along with "jologs" and "cheapistication": Jollijeep is a marketing phenomenon, and no doubt we will soon hear about a cease and desist order from Jollibee.

Worship Jollijeep, for the cheap, HAACP-breaking, roadside cuisine that has saved many a low wage earner from starving over his lunchbreak. Worship those who have taken Jollijeep to the next level. Worship the banana cue and toron drenched in cooking oil and suffocating in "cellophane". Worship the standardization of this culinary sensation that, along with the shampoo in a sachet, ranks high among the best Filipino innovations of the modern age.

Other countries may have foodtrucks, but none sell ice buko, without the "d".

Posted by Bulletproofvest at 02:52 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)
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At last, a government officer that speaks of the law without getting angry, frustrated, or even bewildered:

National Capital Region Police Office (NCRPO) chief Director Ricardo de Leon yesterday called on the public to exercise self-discipline as he reported that in less than a week of massive operations against traffic violators, joint teams of the NCRPO-Traffic Enforcement Group (TEG) and the Metropolitan Manila Development Authority (MMDA) have nabbed 1,889 motorists in the course of the "No Plate, No Travel" policy implementation.

Less than a week! Although in many cases, the cost of obtaining or renewing a license can be difficult to deal with, still, these are the laws. Jeepney drivers would spend more than Php 10,000 a year to renew their license to drive and to re-register their vehicles.

But this is De Leon's moment. And he seems to be magnificent:

"The exercise of self-discipline is an indication of progress and social development," the NCRPO chief said.

He urged the public to shy away from the "easy to get away with" notion, which, he said, is typical of the criminal mind-set. "The reason we have laws is to put order in our society. They are not always created to suit us, but for a higher purpose of serving the greater good," De Leon said.

And he makes it clear why this is all necessary:

Records from the PNP revealed that almost all vehicles used in the commission of crimes are stolen. Others use fake license plates or do not use license plates at all.

Someone who knows how to handle the Filipino, with good reason, a lack of self-importance, and a soft pair of kidgloves.

Posted by Bulletproofvest at 04:07 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)
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Of course not! I don't care if they got rid of Willie! And who better to put this into words than a mother who happens to be a Bulletproof Vest reader:

I am a subscriber in tfc here in the US my family is following the soap opera Sanay wala ng wakas I am very concern to my teenage daughter all her show is under screening with my approval my daughter interested to follow the aboved show. last year when abs cbn introduced the new soap opera I was delighted because kristine Hermosa and Jerheco Rosales are good model artist for youth.

early part of the show everything was okey but when the new character (Angelika dela Cruz) came out to the picture the whole story do not have any focus at all and besides here actutions of all here episodes was not a good model for a growing teenager. She was very flerty,ediot,dammed . I am addressing to the writter to please stop tricking the viewers especialy I am paying for our monthly subcriptions. If I knew it I will never let my daughter follow that show.

Stop tricking the viewers! You idiots! Damn! Wasting our subscription money!

Seriously, it's been a pet peeve of mine (during those days I would spend watching late afternoon soaps) to analyze the content and look at the marketing of norms in Philippine television. I see stereotypes of rags to riches (Marimar) all the time, and the evil twin sister will end up losing everything (but not after five seasons) But a freelancing bootyshaker? We'll have to wait and see. When Jenna won Survivor, it turned my world (and my norms) upside down.

Posted by Bulletproofvest at 12:18 PM | Permalink | Comments (27)
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Return of the King swept 11 Oscars, but the real winner in my book was Cebuana Monique Lhuillier. Reprazent!

Jamie Lee Curtis was up next, and she came prepared. When asked who designed her billowing strapless blue chiffon gown, she pulled a business card out of her clutch listing the designers of her gown (Monique Lhuillier), handbag, shoes and jewelry. It even listed her stylist.

Posted by Bulletproofvest at 12:04 PM | Permalink
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In The "You Know You're Really Old When" Department:

Matet, who is 20, is expecting a baby in August. With Nora's troubles (recent partner was arrested for illegal firearms possession and for a dollop of smack), becoming yet again a grandmother should ease her pain.

Posted by Bulletproofvest at 11:44 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)
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In the Major Tsismax Department: these are said to be shots of Ylissa Ibuna Concepcion who is supposedly the half-sister of KC. Is she the daughter of Gabby and Grace Ibuna? If she is KC's half-sister, and she looks like she's at least 17, then Gabby fathered her right about the same time as he did KC.

Gabby, you *are* a stud.

Posted by Bulletproofvest at 02:01 PM | Permalink | Comments (25)
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very so often, a Bulletproof Vest reader gives more than their two cents worth on the relevant issues troubling our struggling nation, be it the national debt or the corruption of our electoral system. Here is Jen Lee, who pipes in on (her comments are in this entry) yet another important matter:

This message is for Judy ann Santos. Pwede ba, iwasan mo ang mag pa 'cute kapag nasa harap ka nang camera dahil hindi sa yo bagay dahil unang una hindi ka cute. at pangalawa baboy ka. Huwag mong gayahin ang acting nang nasirang Julie Vega dahil wala ka sa kalingkingan 'non. mestisa at natural iyong umarte. meaning talagang may "k" iyon. eh ikaw tanyag ka sa takaw pansin sa mga kalalakihan palibhasa walang pumapatol sa'yo dahil sa pagmumukha mo. Gagawin mo ang lahat para patulan ka lang ng mga kalalakihan. ang cheap mo at pati ang babaerong si binoe na may asawang tao pinatulan mo.hay naku, pwede ba tigil tigilan mo na ang kaartehan mo dahil hindi bagay sa iyo at talagang nakakairita kang panoorin.

Terrific stuff.

Posted by Bulletproofvest at 08:30 AM | Permalink | Comments (4)
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There's an American Idol contestant, Camille Velasco. And, if your IP comes from RP, you might be re-directed by Google here.

From soc.culture.filipino.

Posted by Bulletproofvest at 09:21 PM | Permalink
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About 60 years ago, two Americans made a film which, according to Nick Deocampo, was the "first attempt to launch a Philippine-made film for international release" and was (not too impudently) in hopes of turning the Philippines into "the Hollywood of the Orient".

It premiered in San Diego in December 10, 1937 and disappeared.

I'll let Deocampo takeover:

I sat spellbound for 65 minutes watching the young Fernando Poe display his masculine physique and the beauteous Rosa del Rosario glow in the well-photographed black-and-white film. Patterned in the genre of the south sea film made famous by Robert Flaherty's "Moana," the film capitalized on tales of exoticism. It showed the picturesque sea and the captivating landscape and with warring tribes and a kidnapped maiden to hook the audience's attention.

The discovery of "Zamboanga" brings only to four the feature-length films made in the Philippines that survived the catastrophic war. A few hundred others failed to make it. Its rarity gives the film its aura of significance. The film joins the distinguished line-up of pre-war films "Tunay na Ina" (1938), "Pakiusap" (1938) and "Giliw Ko" (1938). But none beats "Zamboanga's" production date of 1936. It is truly the mother of all studio-made films in the country!

Read it here.

Posted by Bulletproofvest at 09:54 AM | Permalink
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Imelda, reacting to the documentary screened in Sundance, among other things:

Our first trip to the United States we brought down the [U.S. military] bases agreement from 99 years to 25. Cuba has only one Guantanamo, and we had more than 20. The second [largest] number of bases outside of America was in the Philippines. Fidel Castro used to tell people, "I only drove for two women in my life. My mother and Mrs. Marcos." When I got there, he was so envious of Marcos and the Philippines.

It's great to have so much power.

The fact alone is that I am known just by saying Imelda... No need for my last name. What makes me controversial is I am whole. I laugh, I cry, I work. I have been ridiculed, vilified and persecuted because of my shoes. But in a way they saved me. Because when they went through my closets looking for skeletons, all they found were shoes.

I wonder if that's an original punchline. It's too funny to have just been punched out for this interview. Besides, no one was looking for skeletons in the Palace -- they had found enough in the countryside. What we did find were signs of your trademark regalia: the extra large family-sized bottles of Chanel, and, yes the shoes.

I didn't plan to be a Filipino. This country has it all. This is paradise. It is just that people don't realize it because Filipinos have been brainwashed for hundreds of years.

And in some ways, she's right, although not in the context of her madness.

They say the East and West will never meet. I have a project that will make it meet by putting a tunnel under the Pacific Ocean to the China Sea. We have a vision. It has been my project since I was First Lady.

Let's just put a tunnel now, shall we? Seriously, my mom would always say, you can demonize the Marcoses all you want, but all the roads, bridges and highways we have, they're all because of Marcos. When you look at Korea and Singapore, you really wonder how, some times, having an almighty dictator can get the job done fast. Too much democracy is after all, the cause of our many ills today.

Posted by Bulletproofvest at 03:44 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)
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Listening to Sugar-Free's album "Sa Wakas" and their single "Telepono". As witness to influences from the genius of Rivermaya's Rico Blanco (runs the tracks and back up vox), Ebe Dancel and the rest of SF can rock, jazz and soar. His guitar and his vocals can whine, heckle, taunt and croon -- though tempered -- and can have enough self-respect to sing these lyrics:

"I could be all alone in this pathetic little world I have. I could be crying out, see if candies do exist in worlds I don't know."

While Dancel's words and singing in some of the tracks can easily be replaced by Cookie Chua (and sometimes Mike Hanapol), there is a sublime sense of pop here, most noticeable in the candid drumming, the drinking song that is "Taguan", and the slight overdose of D minor. In "Insomya" they add some big guitar droning and harmonics that tell you they were just as much into the Beatles and Pavement as much as they were listening to Skid Row. Then, there is the scary realization that this much talent in a debut album has not been seen last since The Eraserheads. In fact, if you didn't know better, you thought it was Ely Buendia fronting.

"Sa Wakas" revels in it's providence (thus the album title, and the grunting turtle on the cover), having taken 2 years to make, with Blanco producing about 70% of the album before having to step aside and take care of his own band. "Hintay" sounds like Blanco had strings on Sugar Free and wished Bamboo was back on the driver's seat. "Sa Wakas" turns out to be a surprising collage and the tracks are obviously plucked from a larger cache of original work. In fact, the album's age works out nicely, but someone would have had time to work on the lyrics, and didn't.

But perhaps most amazing is that Ebe Dancel is NOT a musician by training -- he is a dentist. I can however argue that his talent comes from his high school background, which he namechecks in the liner notes, somewhere below thanking Jesus Christ and the Mother Mary: UPRHS batch 93. Reprazent!

In "Los Banos" Dancel stumbles to capture emotions that I for one can relate to. It isn't easy to rewrite Buklod's "Kanlungan":

"But it's always you I run home to. Take me back, take me home away from here, back to where I am free."

Needless to say, Sugar Free can use a little Splenda. But that's quite fine. I can like that.

Posted by Bulletproofvest at 04:24 PM | Permalink | Comments (11)
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I had wanted to do a list like this for a while. And, while I work on some copy for a friend's food business, I found it fit to churn it out. There are no rules here (you'll see what I mean), so here goes:

10. Pandesal Nothing like sweet, freshly baked pandesal in the morning. Nothing like having to get up early because it's your turn to go to the bakeshop and buy pandesal. Drawback: never tastes as good a day after.

9. Sisig The best is served in Pilo, with chicaron and gata. Oh boy! I'd rank this dish higher but it's so bad for your arteries that you'll get dizzy after eating it.

8. Kesong Puti The ones made in Los Banos (DTRI) are soft and chewy, like young soft-ripened cheese. In fact, it is exactly that. I like this best fried with #10.

7. San Miguel Beer Super Dry The best friggin beer. Not too strong and bitter. No aftertaste, and, because you get it in the Philippines, it's cheap as piss.

6. Champorado with Tapa I could be wrong (not to mention chichi) here, but the best champorado I've ever had was at the old Fashion Cafe in Makati. Dark, bitter and warm. The tapa was just the right tenderness and no cartilage sticking to the teeth. Invigorating!

5. Biko Stick-to-the-teeth rice cake. I keep confusing this with kalamay, or cassava cake, but the former uses ground rice and the latter uses, er, cassave. Best warm with coffee. They should serve this in Starbucks. Never said no to it on the buffet table.

4. Ensaymada If you have not had Cunanan Ensaymada, you have not lived. You have to have to try it. They only sell it by phone (orders) and you have to pick it up yourself in their secret little bakeshop in Valle Verde (5 I think). I don't have their number now, but this stuff is soooooo good, it costs almost U$ 2.00 each. It's a bit crunchy outside, sticky and melting inside, with lots of queso de bola sprinkled on top. Yummie!!

3. Green Mango with Bagoong I don't eat green mangoes unless they're in a shake, or with bagoong. It's the chips and dip for the Filipino TV viewer. And, if you're lucky, you have someone else to peel it for you. The crunch, and the transformation from sour to salty is just unbelievably scrumptious.

2. Balut With salt, nothing beats the many-textured symphony that is crammed in one little egg. There's the "fetus juice": savory! There's the hard, calcinated part. I eat that. There's the yoke, soft and nourishing. And the chick, with soft bones and feathers, occasionally with an eye staring back at you. Dead as fred. Pinch of salt and it tastes like nothing else on earth.

1. Chicken Adobo For so many reasons, this is tops for me. It's got all the tastes that I love about Filipino food and, if you take the skin off, it's really low fat. Read more about adobo here.

Posted by Bulletproofvest at 05:31 PM | Permalink | Comments (6)
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Sharonians Unite!! She's 2 weeks pregnant according to the All-Knowing Showbiz Oracle German Moreno. And JLo and Ben call it quits, just in case you don't know yet.

Posted by Bulletproofvest at 12:50 PM | Permalink | Comments (3)
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Melanie posts this nugget inside this weblog:

Kris deserves to get beat up because she is a manipulative b*tch. Niloloko lang niya ang publiko. di pa iyak iyak pa kuno siya sa T.V. patrol tapos ngayon nakipagbalikan din kay Joey. Hay naku, maloloka ako sa babaeng mahilig sumabit sa lalaking may sabit. Anyway, I really don't care about the issue anymore and if its true that she is going to run for the senate, well, good for her, sana matalo siya.

Gabby_cuttie goes the other route:

Kris has a credibility on saying the truth! So for sure totoo sinsabi nya, khit madaldal sya totoo ang lumalabas! Punyeta c joey!!! mamatay sya! demonya k joey!

Either way, the public is now terribly skeptical of both of them. But don't let that get in the way of hit game shows or senatorial bids!

Posted by Bulletproofvest at 01:05 PM | Permalink
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I've been looking for the official DNH (Drop N Harmony) website. Couldn't find it. But I did run into Pinoymall.com, which sells lots of stuff, including this phat tee. Then, there's this place to go if you're getting married in a jiff. They also sell a really nice cap and some ripped deltoids.

Posted by Bulletproofvest at 05:45 PM | Permalink | Comments (3)
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I saw bits of Next Level Na! Game KNB? on the local cable channel that carries foreign shows, and I saw someone in the game who I know before her boob job, but that's another story.

The MTRCB chair is not amused with this show, and has called for decency as the show airs "when most families are having supper". Of course, the show owes a lot to Fear Factor and Survivor but, in ABS-CBN's twisted and perverted TV Show Copy Machine, out comes a maniacal twist. Look at the anecdotes:

She said that on Tuesday, two "Game KNB?" contestants, sexy stars Belinda Bright and Maricar de Mesa, were made to eat -- without using their hands -- the banana split off the stomachs of two men in bikini trunks who were floating in a swimming pool.

Laguardia also cited the show's December 30 episode, where members of the rap group Salbakuta were asked to remove their clothes, run around and choose between shaving their eyelashes and taking off their underwear.

On January 7, members of the male pop group Masculados were each asked to retrieve a dead frog, a snake, a rat, and a piece of false teeth from an aquarium filled with taho.

Taho is soybean curd. Gross is okay, but men in bikini trunks?!? That's just plain wrong. And, in defense of Willie Revillame, you know what, he could teach my Sunday School class any time.

Ratings for the show, with men in bikini trunks with banana splits on their stomachs, are very high. Yes, TV dinner for everyone!

Posted by Bulletproofvest at 03:47 PM | Permalink
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A 40 billion peso shabu raid yields an unexpected delight: flavored lambanod step aside, here's flavored shabu.

On a separate note, I'm curious to know why the Inquirer would publish the ingredients and the cookware needed to stew up some shabu. There's a line to be drawn here somewhere.

Posted by Bulletproofvest at 11:17 AM | Permalink
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I've had a bit to say about water levels in Metro Manila, and as record low weather sweeps through Pennsylvania and the rest of New England, the DENR is saying that dry weather and, believe it or not, fewer typhoons have left water supplies low. The solution? Save water, shower with a friend.

Posted by Bulletproofvest at 05:27 PM | Permalink
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Clay or Ruben? Meatballs and spaghetti that was separated by the smallest of margins in last year's American Idol. Well, in the spirit of colonial facsimiles, lo and behold, ABS-CBN's own Star in a Million is befuddled, no, betwixt, by it's own controversial by-the-nose win. Bring in the Supreme Court.

Posted by Bulletproofvest at 02:42 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)
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Country Waffles and Hard Rock Cafe in Manila is in trouble. And so are the Nieveras who left the country recently allegedly turning their backs on many creditors. A Quezon City court has frozen their assets. Martin has to book more shows in Las Vegas to help his old man.

Posted by Bulletproofvest at 03:48 PM | Permalink
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This excludes the heist from Citibank NA last August. The bank declined to give an amount.

Posted by Bulletproofvest at 01:49 PM | Permalink
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Aaah, the year that was: Kris and Joey, Ruffa gets hitched and the New Golden Age of the Filipino Bold Star. Dolly Carvajal has some quotes (not all funny, most interesting) that helps you look back at the year that was. This year promises to be a good one, what with Lito Lapid running for Senator and FPJ becoming the next Philippine president.

Maui Taylor: "I feel like I've exposed every part of my body already, and yet I still don't have enough money. Something's gotta give."

Alma Moreno: (On Kris Aquino and Alma's ex-husband, Joey Marquez): "Why drag me into their mess? Isn't it enough that they're together?"

Posted by Bulletproofvest at 11:10 AM | Permalink
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Lorin Gutierrez-Bektas' dedication's invitation here re-published via Philippine Star.

Included in the article is the complete list of 46, yes 46, Ninongs and Ninangs. There are more stars here than in a Metro Manila Film Festival Awards Night.

Among them, luminaries such as Bong Bong Marcos, Nikki Coseteng, Cebu heavyweight Mariquita Yeung, Richard and Lucy Gomez, Alfie Lorenzo, Jinggoy Estrada, Donita Rose, Publisher Aster Amoyo, interior designer Geena Llamanzares, Christopher de Leon, William Gatchalian, and Charlene (sans Aga) Gonzalez-Mulach.

Read Ruffa's interview about her pregnancy and motherhood, among others, here.

Ricky Lo, who writes the column for the Star, reminds us that guests are requested to come in semi-formal attire. I guess I can come in my jeans.

Posted by Bulletproofvest at 03:33 PM | Permalink
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While he was sleeping... Ouch. How many people do I know have gotten into trouble with these text messages?!? Just please remember, don't be sentimental: delete them. :-D

She did bring him to the hospital, but she forgot to bring the rest of him!

Posted by Bulletproofvest at 12:14 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)
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Carrying on with my brother's observations, I agree that there was a conscious effort to portray Jollibee as Filipino: that was obviously what spurred interest in it in the first place.

(First of all, both businesses operating in the Philippines are owned by Filipino-Chinese businessmen.)

Remember, Pinoys don't eat fries and hamburgers, but McDonalds', spending oodles in advertising and building stores on every commercial block helped stoke the interest of Filipinos in fast food. Around this time, most shopping malls were just barely the size of a basketball courts.

Enter Jollibee, which, admits one of their pioneers, "piggybacked" on the growth of the market, but accidentally stumbled on a two key discriminating factors that spurred it's success, and sustains it to its day: one is that it is Filipino, and was conspicuously so. While the McDonald's folk took your order in complete English, Jollibee greeted customers with a "Magandang Umaga!". The folks at Jollibee figured out what McDonald's should have known from the start: fries and hamburgers, just like anywhere, is a mass sell. So appeal to that taste. Which segues nicely to the taste factor: more sugar, more Filipino. Outside of signature items like Pancit Palabok, and today's absurdly popular Shanghai Rolls, Jollibee puts the Filipino pallette on the griddle. A McDonald's executive back in 1995 went so far as to say that if they (McDonald's) added one tablespoon of sugar to every burger they make, they'd be just as popular as the Bee. With Jollibee's size, they can all but make a few cents on a some of their items (like Wal-Mart), and still m