From one author to another, I had a chance to do an email interview with B+B, author of "Pink Shoes," a somewhat intimidating survey of the postmodern intersection of anime and the British Arts and Crafts movement.
Nah, I haven't read the book. But here's the exclusive interview:
1. I haven't read your book. Is it any good?
Pink Shoes isn't going to be a classic novel, and no one will be forced to read it for their classes in 'Masterpieces of English Literature', which is ultimately a good thing, I think. It's the sort of thing you pick up when you want to be entertained and your cable's out. But I think I wrote it nicely, I agonized over it during the editing process, it made me laugh and...well, what I'm really trying to say is that I think its good, so you better take my word for it.
2. As a self-respecting adult male, why would I want to read "Pink Shoes"?
Pussy! Where is your copy of Hustler?! No self-respecting adult male would get within ten feet of a book that is a.) completely Pink and b.) revolves around a footwear fetish -- although if cutesy pink ballet shoes get your juices flowing, then I guess your thinly veiled attraction to my book is the least of your problems.
3. Your characters are all whiners. Are you a whiner?
Not so much a whiner as a whinee - you know, the chosen receptacle which receives the whines disguised as queries for advice and sister-solidarity-building share time.
4. If you could choose anyone to play your characters in a full-feature film, who would you choose? Why? What about to direct? Why?
I want M Night Shyalamanamanabadabing to direct the film so that there can be this anticlimactic oh-my-God-I-didn't-see-that-coming! twist ten minutes before the credits. Like, the characters are all part of a great cosmic experiment by a race of superior alien beings trying to determine if women really are from Venus. I want old-school 70s starlets from 'Temptation Island' to play the characters and Joey Gosengfiao to write the screenplay, so that when the plot gets boring they can start dancing seductively or barbecue the lone gay character.
5. What's the best way to read your book? Why?
There's a funny, witty, non-bitter way to answer this question (without referencing snotty CW majors *cough*book launch*cough*). I just haven't thought of it yet.
6. There's another book on the hopper. Is there going to be more sex? Oral? Anal?
The second book is about a fag hag with a defective gaydar, and the first sentence is "Mario has a Screaming Orgasm in one hand, a Blow Job in the other." What do you think?
7. What do you hope your readers get out of your first book? Will you tame their insecurities? What about the second one?
By the end of Pink Shoes I want women to realized that there is no problem that can't be solved by a well-deployed mini-skirt with appropriately matching footwear (never wear minis with high heels, as they will make you look slutty). Mostly, I just want my readers to stop wearing unflattering gaucho pants, prairie skirts, cullottes or those annoying knee-length bloomers. We're short enough, please.
8. Can you relate "Pink Shoes" to call centers and world peace?
Durr, I'm stumped. So! Aside from my lack of height, jiggling belly rolls, un-telegenic square face and uncooperative hair, here's another reason why I'll never win Miss Universe. Tangina kanina pa ako nakatitig sa tanong na ito wala ako maisip na isagot.
9. How come you're never online?
Blogger, YouTube, YM, Gmail and everything else that makes life worth living is blocked by my office's Nazi IT firewall.
10. How many pairs of shoes do you own?
Uh...about 20, I guess. I have three athletic shoes, four beach shoes, three flats (black, bronze and silver), two brown sandals, five pairs of black shoes in varying designs, and about four or five pairs that are broken or out of style that I'm hoping will make a comeback. No, I don't have pink shoes.
The book is available in National Bookstore.
Tags: Pink+Shoes, chicklit, Pinoy
10 Questions with Bryanboy
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