Mr. Montelibano, who I will now call "Mr. M" for brevity, has a new installment whose first paragraph made me weak in the knees:

IT WAS an affair whose preparations were deliberately kept muted from undue public attention. There was nothing illegal about it, or anything that could not be exposed to the light of day. If anything, it was clearly the opposite. Once in a while, a beautiful event graces a troubled land. The possibility that jealousy or malice would rear their ugly heads to abort or disturb the beautiful unfolding of a miracle dictated that prudence would define the collective conduct.

"Deliberately kept muted from undue public attention," connotes a "due public attention." You can remove the last dependent clause and simply say "deliberately kept from public attention." These "fillers" stall your writing and keep you from getting to the point -- or, as I have pointed out before, helps disguise the fact that there isn't one. But, that's plain mean of me to say.

"The possibility that jealousy or malice would rear their ugly heads to abort or disturb the beautiful unfolding of a miracle dictated that prudence would define the collective conduct." Have you tried reading outside Tolkien lately? What the hell does "collective conduct" mean? George Orwell points to meaningless words, I point to empty ones: jealousy, malice, ugly, miracle, prudence, beautiful -- all these subjective ornery words that are not only clunky, they mean very little when lacking context. How you managed to roll them all into one sentence is beyond any English degree.

More surprisingly, it seems Mr. M does tell an interesting story: Christians and Muslims building homes together. That's all really nice and peachy. That anecdote about a General eating lechon is quite nice too. And your conclusion, although peppered with the naive sense that all this was heroic and patriotic (all right, some of it was), was nice and concise too. See! You can write well after all, if you just stuck to the turkey and left the stuffing out.

April 23 and 24 will always be historic days, the first unified effort by civilians to take destiny in their own hands and paint it rainbow colors, the colors of hope.

Ahh, "rainbow colors, the colors of hope." That's a buzzkiller right there. And you didn't explain the whole "jealousy or malice" thing, although I can kinda figure that one out. (What scares me more is that it's entirely possible that I'm the only one reading your work.)

Posted by Bulletproofvest at 10:18 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)
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In 80 clinical trials, Dr. Glenn Wilson, a psychiatrist at King’s College London University, monitored the IQ of workers throughout the day.

He found the IQ of those who tried to juggle messages and work fell by 10 points — the equivalent to missing a whole night’s sleep and more than double the four-point fall seen after smoking marijuana.

In the texting capital of the world, this is news. Not for me: I'm good at ignoring my mobile.

Posted by Bulletproofvest at 05:30 PM | Permalink
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As usual, finding a thesis to his writing is like pulling teeth from a cow. I suspect, as I read his article, Americans in Mindanao is simply tangential to his point, wherever that may be. Instead, I relish his material simply for the exercise of teasing out the lack of lucidity and underscoring his poor grasp of all things obvious. For example:

Do not our officials see how Filipinos are being made to line up outside the US embassy when applying for a visa while Americans do not do the same outside of our Department of Foreign Affairs?

Hmm, gagu ka ba? There are hundreds of Filipinos visiting the embassy everyday, and only a dozen or so Americans at the DFA. The latter's building can comfortably sit all visitors (including the Americans, yes!), while the U.S. embassy, even though they have built a nice pavillion for those waiting in line, simply cannot hold a soiree for all those in line.

Lining up means our people want to either get out of the Philippines despite the humiliation they have to go through or are simply accepting of the truth about inequality. Either way, our government should take heed and do something drastic about both anomalies.

Okay, sobrang taas na nang ihi mo. If you haven't noticed yet, there are too many damn Filipinos. You go to an ATM, pila. You buy at the grocery store, pila. You pay at Meralco, pila. You apply for a U.S. Visa, pila!! If you find lining up so humiliating as to call on the government for help (calling it "anomalies"), well, wala, wala akong masabi talaga. Maybe you've had too much TV.

Hmm, the next three paragraphs are so disjointed that I can't even pull a punchline out of them. I don't know whether he's flip flopping over his own sentiments, or the lack of direction is his trademark and that's why they print this garbage. Still, Motelibano delivers a coup de grace:

It would be nice if Philippine officialdom resents the present setup with America and wants to dismantle it. Personally, I do not believe they have either the guts or the means to fight America, but they will gain respect for simply trying. And when they do, the Filipino people just might support tem instead of making a beeline for the US embassy. Courage is infectious, but so is cowardice.

First, "officialdom" is a word usually associated with a religious organization, such as the Catholic church. I would urge you to simply use "government" instead. Second, "nice" isn't a word you want to use in a column, unless you want to be laughed at. "Nice" is neutered sarcasm. It means nothing, no conviction, and certainly a lack of eloquence.

Thirdly, I don't get your point about Filipinos presumably supporting a Philippine government that wants to "dismantle" its relationship with the U.S. government, and in doing so, you believe Filipinos will support this new anti-U.S. government instead of leaving for the U.S. itself. It's bananas. B-A-N-A-N-A-S. Let me see if I get this right: so you believe Filipinos are leaving for the U.S. because they don't like the fact that their government has a pro-U.S. stand? (Leave the country for the country you believe our country should pick a fight with?) And, if this government shows some resentment for being a "third class" citizen to the U.S. and holds it's head up high and thumbs a nose at Uncle Sam it will keep it's people from leaving for Daly City? You're nuts.

Ah, but the zarzuela (your reference) yields an even greater gem:

We are third class because our leaders are third class. In fact, because we tolerate third class leaders, we might even be a fourth class people.

We are "fourth class" (dang, that's low!) because we have people who can't deal with falling in line and who publish spit like this and pass it on as good gospel.

Posted by Bulletproofvest at 07:07 AM | Permalink
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Bleaahhhg!

Posted by Bulletproofvest at 06:32 AM | Permalink
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I really couldn't support my upper body without experiencing excruciating spasms across my back. After a series of tests and a cup full of pee, they got to my allergies: no aspirin, no morphine, no ibuprofen, no shellfish (and no pineapple, but they really weren't planning on giving me pineapple; shellfish, apparently, is important because if they ever give me dye for a scan, I might be allergic to the iodine in the die). So Valerie gave me Oxycontin -- opium to the developing world -- and ordered some chest xrays.

After about 15 minutes, no allergies had appeared and my back pain was reduced substantially. Only trouble was I felt like hurling for three hours. That afternoon when I took my second dose, I ended up with a mixing bowl full of regugitated swiss cheese, crackers and some coffee. When I started reading about Oxycontin, this painkiller I wasn't allergic to, I found out more about its addictive properties (Rush Limbaugh): it seems that it's one of few painkillers that increases it's painkilling effect as you up the dosage. Most painkillers will reach a threshold of effectivity; percocet won't. In the meantime, I'm not worried about addiction, unless I want to be throwing up every hour.

Posted by Bulletproofvest at 06:16 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)
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Fireman: Stay calm. Baranggay: Hahahahaha! (Clearly they were having fun. We could hear their laughter three floor up.) Fireman: Are you okay in there? Baranggay: We want coffee and donuts.

Overall, five years of married life was transported successfully. A plan to use fiberboard to build makeshift tracks for a huge-ass HDTV set was Trading Spaces brilliant. I've never been happier for them, yet their new digs moved them farther away, and I fear this will sadly put some space between our oft anticipated weekends together. We'll miss the coziness of King of P.

Today, Sunday, we went for a crazy 30-mile city loop with our riding friend. She had out a MapQuest-like directions for our ride that took us all the way down to the Philly Airport, where we got lost on Hog Island Road (which would make a great set up for a CSI episode, you know, where three bikers find a dead body) but managed to find our way back up to University City. Avoiding the trolley tracks was pretty bad, but I had my first crash just slowing down for traffic, as I was unable to clip off my pedals while getting sandwiched between two bikers. Scraped pretty bad but the bruising will last probably until mid-week, then I can ride again. Yipee!

Posted by Bulletproofvest at 05:55 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)
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Now, I'm seeing some interesting reads: disappointed with Mark spending any amount of money to see Tori Amos; Joey Ayala goes 404; had fun over at engrish.com; there's a whole-house machine that can create 2,000-square foot houses in 24 hours; one of the weirdest things I've seen in a while; and, my sister-in-law is looking for an iBook.

She should really know better and hold out for a G4 Powerbook. The G5 PB's are coming this Fall and that should drop all the prices.

Posted by Bulletproofvest at 07:08 PM | Permalink
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Are you sure you're the only one drinking from your cup?

Posted by Bulletproofvest at 05:30 PM | Permalink
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From an album produced by Gil Norton (who has produced for Pixies and the Foo Fighters), "If You're Not Scared" got the Belgian band billed across Europe and booked on the Lilith Fair. "If You're" is very unlike the amped guitars you'll find in other tracks from 1998's Cocoon Crash, but it's the nicest sing-song-iest one they have.

Although the band is arguably beyond its prime, their music was a better fit for the nineties, when grunge was grunge, Todd Oldham was hip and Liz Phair hadn't sold out yet. (Tell that to the Gin Blossoms or Better Than Ezra who are trying to make a comeback.) They have the right amount of angst and sentimentality (and pre-millennium tension)that made the 90's such a dissonant time.

More recently, K's Choice released a "Ten Years of..." CD which pretty much signals that their best years are behind them.

It doesn't mean that they won't be worth a listen. Take it here.

Posted by Bulletproofvest at 09:28 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
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