Here I go:

1. My Sinister Vampire, who I predict to ascend to "Vampire god" status in about 1.5 months, has annoying blonde hair. BAKET?

2. In my network, I am #2 Best Public Speaker. Ugh. The real highlight is that I am #9 Person With the Best Hair! Don't forget #21 Most Fashionable. Geez, there must be lots of people who don't know how to dress out there.

3. Following #2 above, people do know me: I am one of the least kindest in my network. True!

4. According to my friends, I am most like to have the best personality, use the word "superfluous" correctly and most like to corrupt the minds of young children. Now, that last one is superfluous.

5. I drive an Alfa Romeo 8C Competizione. That thing is probably worth a zillion dollars or something like that. A zillion!

6. I've been sent a pinacolada, twice. Don't these people know anything?

7. What the hell is "thrown a sheep at"? Who throws sheep?

8. I've got legs growing out of a clay pot. Cool!

9. I have compatibility issues with people, insofar as movies are concerned. Hey, Ace Ventura was way funny.

10. If someone calls me a Top Friend, and I don't call them one, am I being rude?