A distant relative of mine goes by the nickname of Bornok, after the corpulent, somewhat naive character of local comic books (Jessica would know which one).

Though it is often times the case that, when describing people of stout stature, we readily employ adjectives: some seemingly apologetic, such as "large", some derogatory such as "baboy", or some more mean, "taba". But Bornok (obviously not his real name) can best be described with statistics. Bornok lets the numbers do the talking.

Let's start with 2, which is the number of fetuses the doctor was expecting at birth, given the size of the mother's tummy. Then, there's 14.5, which was Bornok's birthweight in pounds. Try 24, which is Bornok's length in inches. He had outgrown his infant crib on the third day. There's 32, which is the insufferable number of stitches the mother took because no one decided that a C-section had merits.

There's 4, which is the age at which Bornok could finish an entire chicken by himself in one sitting (his parents were dead serious sharing that fact). There's 15, which is the number of bananas he could snack on at a time.

Today, Bornok has finished college (thus, living down the naive part of his namesake) and is 6'3" and around 240 lbs. Good thing Bornok's a friend, because the last thing I'd want is to run into Bornokin a dark alley. That's another fact.