Bulletproofvest

There's absolutely nothing wrong with Bryanboy, that is according to him, and nothing to be controversial about. If you do live a life as inextricably linked with the fabulous and the underweight, then there's very little here that deviates from the norm.

I actually am thrilled that he calls me "babe," which he probably calls everyone. And, that, not because I'm a hardcore fan, but because it feels like Lisa Minelli or Anna Wintour just returned my phone call. Yes, it's like that. Bryan, you can call me "babe" all you want.

So, here is Bryanboy, unabridged, heralding the return of 10 Questions with Bulletproofvest from its hiatus, and untramelled and delightfully colorful -- making interracial gangbangs, singing in the shower, and fictional siblings utterly, read-between-the-lines-y, fabulous.

1. Do you sing? In the shower? If so, which songs? Do you sing with a lower or higher voice than the one you use to talk with?

I do sing... in weddings or funerals, which, thank god, doesn't happen very often. I don't sing when I'm in the shower though. http://bryanboykaraoke.blogspot.com should have a couple of mp3s of me singing. NASTY, I TELL YOU. NASTY! I had my tonsils removed before I had pubic hair. The anesthesia and painkillers they injected in my butt screwed my vocal cords completely. My parentals thought it was tonsilitis that fucked my throat up but little did they know it was something else.

2. The dirtiest, filthiest, most profane word (or phrase) you can think of. No need to explain.

Interracial gangbang creampie.

3. If you had a twin sister, what would she be like?

I have no idea and I don't even want to picture it. Trust me, she would've been dead a long time ago. Having siblings is already bad enough, having a twin is worse. Fuck female siblings. Damn ho bags are useless to my quest for world domination. Spare me from worrying about bollocking boyfriends and teenage pregnancies. Can I have a male twin instead? I've always, always, ALWAYS wanted to know what it's like to have someone 100% who looks like me, walks like me, talks like me and fucks like me!

4. Take a picture of the contents of your bag. Annotate (as much as you want).

Here's the pic.

- sunglasses
- mints
- phone
- tape recorder (you never know when youíre gonna meet a backstabber)
- ipod case
- ipod video
- foundation
- lip gloss (2)
- cigarettes
- lighter
- petroleum jelly (you never know when youíre gonna get fucked in the ass; I know it ain't love if it ain't spit but try getting fucked by a 9-inch dick with no lube and tell me if you don't cry home to your mama.)
- eyeglasses
- wallet
- camera case
- perfume
- tissues
- Chinese candy
- credit cards
- visa bill
- mastercard bill
- receipts
- parking tickets
My note: Cecile, can you ID that bag?

5. Three things that haven't been invented yet, but should be.

A pill that eradicates hunger PERMANENTLY.
A pill that eradicates third world debt.
Time machine.

6. Five Filipinos most people think are straight, but aren't.

Are we talking about the ones on the public eye? I think they're all gay... or GAY FOR PAY! Let's face it, most of the bastards (celebrities, models, politicians, etc.) we see on television are in it for the money -- just flash the right amount of cash and their genitalia galore are yours for the running. Anyway, I'm 100% positive that most Filipinos, or anyone for that matter, have had some sort of a homosexual experience one way or another... and they fucking love it. There's really no such thing as "straight". Trust me. There's no such thing as an ugly hole when it comes to a raging, rock-hard pole!

7. What are you on right now?

Nicotine, hydromorphone, methadone, sodium penthanol, alprazolam, carbon monoxide, a shitload of formaldehyde and finally, caffeine, all of which are served via an iv drip I stole from Asian Hospital.
My note: Don't try this at home! ;-)

8. Four blogs you read everyday, other than yours. Comment on why.

I don't really have a blog that I follow everyday. Too many blogs, soo little time. I don't even have enough time for myself let alone obsess about other people's frivolous fracas.

9. On your blog, you talk a lot about your weight. You even suggest the possibly of having appearance issues, to understate. Where are you now with that?

We all have appearance issues and insecurities. Why sit there and do nothing when one can be proactive in resolving them? As far as I'm concerned, my own personal war against fat is still ongoing. Don't you think the world would be a fabulous place if we all weighed less than 100 pounds? Remember: a pleasure on the lips means 10 pounds on the hips. Food is the enemy, eating is a disease.

10. Give a straight guy five tips to becoming more fabulous.

Break up with the girlfriend, buy some cocaine, go to the nearest bar, order a scotch and inseminate the thinnest homosexual under the age of 25 that you see.
Big brownie points if that fag looks like me! What can I say... you can't rape the willing!