Batman

I've often wondered why the human condition is so grossly disproportionate to his elemental understanding of the absolute sciences. Why is it that humankind can generate astounding knowledge in mathematics, physics, aeronautics and chemisty, yet cannot understand such untroublesome features like generosity, mercy or the proclivity to commit crime? What do you readers think?

Robin

I'm so getting better at yoga, dudes. I can now tell the difference between a bakasana and a balasana. One's the crane pose, the other's a child's pose. Wait, which ones which? Whatever.

Aquaman

The dolphins have stopped talking to me since I started eating blue marlin steaks. Whatever.

Flash

Check out these kicks!

Dare Devil

I have a confession to make to all my readers: I can see.

Charles Xavier

I've turned off all the comments on my blog. I can see all the spam coming, plus I know what you, dear readers, are going to say anyway.

Wolverine

Yesterday's anger management class was very useful. I realized that the best way to avoid the anxiety is to have a good breakfast everyday (fruit!), and try to steer clear of situations that tend to result in dust ups, such as visiting the local bars, driving across town, or even talking to people. Which is why I think having this blog is so useful, I can talk without getting upset. When I get upset, I tend to lose control.

Jubilee

Scarlett Johansson is a bitch! I'm so totally going to fry her face when I see her. She totally does not deserve a hunk like JT, if you know what I mean. I mean, look at her! She's really pretty, sure, in a trashy skank sort of way!

Gambit

Why do I never get invited to those poker games? Huh? I mean, I know how to play and all that.

Jean Grey

(This blog has moved to phoenix.blogspot.com)

Superman

I went to see my chiropractor today, because I tweaked my back hurling an asteroid into the sun (saved the world again!). He mentioned that I should start taking glucosamine! Imagine! Me, Superfrigginman taking supplements! Who does he think I am, Clark Kent? No, wait, yes he does think I'm Clark Kent. My bad.

The Hulk

Bruce here. I finally figured out how to wear tights. That way, I don't have to buy a new set of clothes every frikin time. Those other superheroes were right on!

Captain America

On hiatus.

Ultraman

What kind of stupid power expires in three minute, huh??! Huh?!?! I mean, Jesus and Mary, why would I have these powers and only last for three minutes?!? Can a guy in a plastic suit get a break? And, if I didn't have to cross my arms all the time, maybe that would save a few precious seconds, huh?!?! C'mon!

Darna

Pakeng shet! Sawang sawa na akong maglaba ng damit ng ibang superhero! Aba! Kaya ko namang tablahin mga suferfawers nila, in fayrness kaya!