1. Ever thought to yourself: frack it, I should be Secretary of the Department of Tourism? Where would you start?

I would start by abolishing the department of tourism itself. No offense to the department of tourism of course.

Really, The institution needs streamlining. I would scale it down to a media office, privatize assets and departments, and develop it into becoming the guide/standard for businesses - kinda like the lonely planet/michelin guide for hotels, restaurants, etc.

The DOT should only inform the tourist, It should never ever manipulate him.

2. Take me on a historical tour of your sock drawer. Pics welcome.

I usually wear flip flops or go sockless. But I have lots of cheap socks (black) from shoemart and carriedo that I use when having to wear sneakers. I don't do white socks. Nobody should.

3. I once dreamt, back when I was still watching "Parker Lewis Can't Lose", that I had just emerged from a sex therapy session with Margarita Holmes. I remember feeling very calm. What did she tell me?

"That was great. Do you have a light?"

4. Five things my 6th grade history teacher didn't tell me about Intramuros.

How about just one thing:

The Americans were the ones who blew it up. Not the Japanese.

5. Three people other people say you look like. React.

Nathan Lane. That's ok I like him. And I am admittedly kinda effeminate and flamboyant too.

Dom de Luise. Never understood that. As I do not have a beard.

My father. Obviously. Same genes.

6. The top three tastemakers of Philippine pop culture. Take as long as you need.

Not much time needed at all.

Sharon Cuneta and the two people who are in charge of the programming for abs-cbn and gma tv. The reasons are actually kinda obvious.

My note: What about the Surplus Shop?

7. Next Halloween, I plan to come dressed as you. What do I need?

A top hat, a half goatee, a slight paunch, and a bit of spanish mestizo blood.

My note: Do I smear the blood all over my clothes for best effect?

8. When on a food tour through Binondo, do you ever say "I can't change the way Manileneos eat, but I can change the way you eat a Manileneos."?

I don't think I would because I'm not the guy who does the binondo food tour. That's the other walking tour guy Ivan ManDy. You can check his site www.oldmanilawalks.blogspot.com

I highly recommend him. He is good at doing his own thing.

My note: I really thought you did food tours of Binondo. Heck, I'll go on one and swear by that line.

9. Three morons you love to hate, living or dead. Explain.

Cory Aquino - Pompous little matrona who thinks she still makes a difference. More people care about her daughters opinions than hers no doubt.

The heirarchy of the Philippine Catholic Church - "Stop kidding yourself. You DO NOT affect the way Filipinos think. Because if they truly followed your dogma about charter change, birth control and sexuality, they would have gone to your damned rally last sunday and stopped having premarital sex along with drinking, cheating/etc. See entry above. Shut up and start caring about souls and not politics."

Larry Henares - Have you ever heard his hourly program on DWBR 104.7FM? Conservative closed minded whiney old school Atenean bullshit. Such a negative nelly who depresses anyone given the misfortune of catching his show. He sometimes even reads other people's stuff instead of his own. Totally offensive.

Naturally, no offense to all other Henareses of course.

10. The best places to eat in Metro Manila for under P500. Name as many as you want.

Bellinis in Marikina Shoe Expo.
JT Manukan on Ortigas.
and any fishball stand anywhere.

Bonus question: What's next for Imelda?

Truthfully? Alzheimers. She did seem kinda spacey when I talked to her.

And not in a fun way.

Oh. And perhaps the mayorship of Manila?

Thanks to Carlos.

Tags: Carlos+Celdran, Manila, Philippines