Q&A with Chuvaness, known outside the blogsphere as Cecile Zamora, had an answer that almost made me drop and roll on the floor (it's about Kris Aquino, of course). What with Manolo Quezon, Abe Olandres, Bang and Blame and Jessica Zafra all game to fire out email answers for Bulletproofvest, could it be that there's nothing more entertaining than reading other people's words on my blog? Like eating off someone else's dinner plate. I like!

1. I saw you on TV with your bag collection. Do you have anything fake? How'd they get in?

At the risk of sounding mayabang, I have no fakes, except my FAKE bag by Bea Correa, a Dutch artist. She gave it to me after I interviewed her for the Star.

Here it is.

Also, I’ve always believed there is nothing worse than a fake LV, except for a genuine Secosana.

My note: And I really love those Susana bags you can get for P430 a pop at 168.

2. Bryanboy: good or bad for fashion? Why?

Good if he is your customer. Bryan was a customer of mine in Defect and recently at Store for all Seasons. I actually met him in Defect around 1998, he was the kid with credit card and the Jeremy Scott logomania bucket hat. He was 16 or 17 at that time.

3. Could you win Project Runway? Can you out chuva Michael Kors?

You know what I have never seen a full episode because the people remind me of annoying folks at Parsons (where I studied in the ‘90s). Some of those BFA students are so mayabang and feeling God.
Besides, only normal (commercial) designers win those and the Parsons Golden Thimble Award (with apologies to Marc Jacobs, my crush). So to answer your question, no.

My note: You'd have to cry on every episode to win that thing.

4. I usually wear a pair of jeans, a boy scout belt, a tee and a pair of trainers. I rotate three pairs of leather shoes, four sneakers, and I trim my nose hair. Queer Eye me.

Haha. Let me see your picture so I can see your hair, height and waistline and we’ll take it from there.
For starters, don’t wear leather shoes with jeans. I really hate that look.

My note: (Okay, I won't.)

5. I have to defer to you on this: does Arnold Clavio blip your gaydar? Take a minute.

LOL. You really crack me up.
Arnold Clavio can’t be gay because I don’t see any effort to look cute.
How do I put this delicately? He is not easy to look at.
But I do have a certain fondness for him because my first baby used to love that Arn-Arn muppet.

My note: He trips mine. I think it's how he always wears a jacket in this tropical country. Underneath the windbreaker and the glasses is a buffed superhero. And the Tancho pomade gigolo look just ices the cake.

6. Six parties anywhere, done or upcoming, that you want to or should have crashed.

I would’ve wanted to crash the Nicolas Ghesquiére dinner, but thank God I was invited last minute.
I really, really enjoyed that Motorola party where they “raffled off” 100 phones, Macau-style. (I was also invited and I won last minute.)

Honestly I don’t crash parties because I’ve always had this “hiya” thing where I don’t go if I’m not invited.

Besides, I really love staying home.

7. Five things you want to get rid of but can't. Why?

This is a trick question. Did you mean why I want to get rid of them, or why can’t I get rid of them?

Anyway the five things are:

Manila traffic
security guards
ugly bathrooms
my zits
my fear of flying

8. Pick a man and a woman, dead or alive, that you'd give your left eye and three fingers to dress. How and for what would you like to dress them for? (And, which three fingers would you give away?)

Forget the eye and fingers! Kainez.
I would love to make over TJ Trinidad because I crush him.
Kris has to stop wearing gowns in broad daylight. It is a misrepresentation to the masses, that rich people wear gowns all the time. Like that Lotlot de Leon movie where she lived in a mansion and had spaghetti bolognese and red hotdogs for breakfast. It is so wrong, ano ba. I am tired of seeing Kris Aquino’s halter tops and her number 7 eyebrows. But it’s hard to make her change her look. Remember when she wore Custo Barcelona every single day?

My note: Kris is over the top. I really think she's certifiably nuts.

9. The next big things in the Philippine fashion industry: one male model, one female and one designer.

Nobody! I do love Jon Mullally’s looks (even though I cannot converse with him).
Female models and designers are all slim pickins here, so I’ll pass.

10. What's in your refrigerator? Including the stuff you don't know about. Better yet, take a picture and annotate.

Mostly my Dutch husband’s since he loves food. Mine are the Japanese stuff, his are the healthy stuff.

The pictures are in here and here.

My note: Where are the film caps?

Bonus Question: Were you ever envious of Mich Dulce's PBB stint? I mean, she has a wikipedia entry and you don't.

No way! HAHAHAHA. As Ate Vi would say, “Been there, been that.”

I convinced Mich to join PBB so she can get her KSP fix. That’s what I actually told her and it was one of the times she took my advice. And now she hates it that she can’t cross the street without someone saying, “Meech, Meech, picture naman o.”

I can’t be in Big Brother because I can’t eat strange food and I’m scared of communal bathrooms. I have a problem with authority so I can’t do those stupid tasks. I really, really hate the voice of Big Brother.
And I don’t want to win Promac appliances.

As for the other thing, I don’t want to be in Wiki cause all your haters come out of the woodwork. Besides I could start my own Wiki if I wanted to no? I’m not that KSP.

Thanks to Chuvaness.

Tags: Chuvaness, Philippines, Kris+Aquino, Manila, Mich+Dulce, Cecile+Zamora