Had the opportunity to ask Jessica Zafra 10 questions for Bulletproofvest. Bang and Blame helped out:

1. I read your blog, but I haven't read anything you've published. Not a word. Does that suck? Why?

Not really. It deprives me of about ten bucks in book royalties, I'll live.

2. Were you able to catch Sting's performance with the Backstreet Boys at a VH1 special? (It was a male version of Divas Live). What do you think of Sting now?

What a hideous idea. Sounds like He-vas Live, the Has-Been Edition. Yes, I used to love Sting, but sometime in the mid-90s I suddenly realized what a pompous ass he is. I still listen to The Police though. I haven't had cable for three weeks because I forgot to pay my cable bill for four months—mostly because they didn't send it to me—and then I realized that not only can I live without cable (You can just get the entire season of the shows you like on DVD) but I can actually read more books. The only thing I really miss about cable is The Daily Show with Jon Stewart. I love Jon Stewart. And I love the old Even Steven segment with Stephen Colbert and Steve Carrell. I would like to be the filling in an Even Steven sandwich. Jon would be the pickle.

3. In the movie of your life, who would you want to be director? Writer? Lead?

I was going to say Max Ophuls or Martin Scorsese, but my life isn't exactly a romantic tragedy or an urban crime epic. So I'm leaning towards David Lynch. A remake of Dune, with a girl in the lead.

4. Name eight songs to be included in the soundtrack to "Jessica Zafra: The Movie"

Just have Tom Waits score the damn thing and I'll be happy.

5. This is for my peeps: what's your favorite color?

Still black.

6. How much of your writing is influenced by Catholic nuns?

It's fun to offend Catholic nuns, but way too easy. I like Saint Theresa of Avila, though. She kicked ass.

7. Given enough resources, would you choose to live anywhere else other than Metro Manila? Why or why not?

Absolutely. Metro Manila just wears you down with its noise, stench, chaos. I want to live in Venice, or Paris, or New York where the chaos at least has purpose and where goddammit, people read. But I would have to visit Manila every three months or so to collect material to write about.

8. What's the funniest thing you've ever seen, heard or done? I want it to be really funny.

Don't people understand that The Departed is a comedy? I saw it five or six times, laughed my head off every time. Martin Scorsese is a genius. Among his achievements in this film: making DiCaprio credible as a man. He does it by looking like he doesn't know what the fuck is going on, because face it, that's what a man looks like.

9. Who will write "The Next Great Filipino Novel"?

Me. That's assuming The Great Filipino Novel has already been written. Unless you mean Noli and Fili.

10. In Metro Manila, pick and explain three places you'd rather be dead than be seen at.

I'm not bullshitting you, okay? No place. I figure that no matter how heinous the place is, I can always write about it. In fact the more grotesque it is, the better.

11. Bonus question: your favorite superhero/heroine.

Okay, when I was a kid my petit-bourgeois parents wouldn't let me read Tagalog komiks, so every chance I got I would sneak into other people's kitchens and read their maids' komiks. I remember this komiks about a guy who says Taktalaok and turns into a giant rooster who fights crime. A giant crime-fighting rooster, what a stupid idea. Then when he wants to turn back into a person he says Taktalaok backwards. I've forgotten what the title of the komiks was but it really made an impression on me.

I'm glad I asked the bonus question -- reminded me of Super Kat! Now, if only I can get Sheila Coronel to do this.

Tags: Jessica+Zafra, Filipino, Philippines