While everyone is trying to wean themselves away from eating KFC, I had to fight the urge to throw up while watching Gigli. I admit, curiosity got the best of me, but I wouldn't pay to see it. So, instead, I picked up a pirated copy, which despite being crystal clear, shed not a ray of hope to save this self-absorbed, flatulent movie about two hitmen-wannabe who cross paths. One a muscle-headed type-A attitude bozo with a house that looks like it just got Queer Eyed, another, a lesbian who looks just like Jennifer Lopez! Wow!

Really, if you were a JLo fan, then this movie would be dope. You get to see her do yoga, for instance, while struggling to strike metaphors between lips and the female reproductive organ. Take it or leave it, you gotta love the lyrcra.

Certainly this movie is not just for JLo fans, Ben (with those beautiful eyes) prances around in his bathrobe, preens topless and even gets his nipple sucked. From leather-clad in Daredevil to this, Ben Affleck has surely made the best career moves yet.

Even more annoying was the dialogue. "Turkey time," JLo says before asking Ben for some "oral" favors. "Gobble. Gobble!" Despicable. The supporting cast was horrible too, save for cameos from Al Pacino (being Al Pacino, shooting expletives and a .357) and Christopher Walken (being Christopher Walken, dazed, confused and dangerous).

But it is wonderful to know that, having wasted 2 hours on that movie, that I have indeed seen one of the worst ever made, if only to get a chance to blog about it. Now that JLo and Ben have officially called it quits, it's even better to know that they had a chance to do Gigli. The movie ends with JLo saying goodbye, Ben teary-eyed, and JLo coming back to change her mind. Flighty? Sounds like JLo to me.